my drug | ashtray | euphoria

chapter 16: love..

*6 weeks later*

it's been a very interesting 6 weeks, that girl from new years Faye has moved in with us, she's ok i guess. Rue has relapsed worse than ever and i'm worried, we don't speak much anymore. that Elliot guy is pretty cool i guess. Rue is back with Jules, i don't know why, she's annoying.

Ash beat the shit out of Cal that was funny, oh yeah and i'm pregnant. yup that's correct, lemme explain.

*2 weeks ago*
we were all sat in the shop, Lexi walked in, looking gorgeous as per usual, "hey", she chirped looking around at me, Fez, Faye and Ash. "hey Lex, u ok?", i ask standing up and giving her a hug, "yeah i'm fine". she looks over at Fez "hey i-", she notices Faye behind her, "need some help?", Fez asks noticing her silence. "nope just need a drink", she turns and heads to the fridge.

Cal walks and and heads to the counter, i suddenly feel sick, this is unlike me. Ash is on the other side of the shop behind a shelf and i see him grab the cereal box he keeps a gun in. my nerves take over and i stand back a bit, i'll admit i am scared of Cal. "can i help you", Fez stands behind the counter and looks over at Ash quickly, "do you have any gum?", Cal asks, he's right next to the gum, is he okay?

After a few seconds of silence Cal puts the gum on the counter, he reaches into his pocket and it looks like theres a gun in there, Fez and Lexi's eyes widen and Ash starts to pull the gun out the box. Cal pulls out a 1$ note. fuck. that was scary.

he leaves and we all just look at each other, "hey Lex, um, can i speak to you", i whisper giving her a stare. "yeah of course".

we walk out of the shop and stand round the side, "ok so, i, um, i felt sick inside that's not like me and i've been more nervous, as well as just feeling odd, what should i do?", i chew on my bottom lip nervously waiting for her to respond, "pregnancy test". that's all she says. fuck.

"ok thanks will do", "lemme know the results", she adds before walking off.

*a week later*
i woke up in the morning and i was throwing up straight away, i bought a pregnancy test a few days ago but haven't done it yet. "ok i'm going to the shop for a bit, you wanna come?", ash asks grabbing a jacket. this is my opportunity. "no i don't feel well", i respond before he walks out waving bye.

i walk into the bathroom and grab the test from under the counter, fuck my life. i open the packaging and take the test... positive.. of course. i remember Faye is still in the living room so i have to be quiet. i put the test in my back pocket and open the door. "hey you ok", Faye asks as i walk past her in the living room. "yep just going to a shop to get some, um, snacks", i stutter a bit grabbing my bag and walking out.

i get to the shop and grab 2 packs of pregnancy tests, pay for them and head home.

when i walk through the doors Cal is sat on a chair in the living room tied up, Ash stood next to him with a gun and Fez on the couch staring at him.

i walk past avoiding them and quickly lock the bathroom door. i take the 4 tests... all positive, i put them in my pockets and open the door, as soon as i walk out i see Ash hitting Cal in the head with the gun. ffs.

my heart starts racing, i love ash i really do but seeing him hit Cal with the gun, this is the father of my child. do i want my kid around this. ugh. i start to tear up, yes i love him, love... fuck...