summer experience // machine gun kelly

30.

the next morning baze knocked at my door and came in.
"hey sorry for waking you up. i just wanted to tell you no one knows that you left the party yesterday. you really should talk with kells again to clear the situations. i dont ask what happened but if you want to talk i'm here for you. you are good for him, we all can see that but its not easy to change him." he smiled and left the room.
i looked at the time and it was way to early. i got up and dressed. i decided to be classic today, i chose a white billy talent shirt, a long blue ripped jeans and my black vans. outside baze told me we go to the food area for breakfast.
at the food lounge i met marc and he said i should sit by them. i sat down. we laughed a lot and i was happy to forget everything. he said he had an appointment and had to leave. he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.
i went back to our table. ash and kells came in the meantime where i was by marc. kells looked like the living death. ash told me that they have a gig today and asked if i can help her with everything. i agreed and told her she should text me and i will come to her.

kells pov.

i think i took the wrong drug yesterday evening because i throw up the whole morning. it was a beautiful night with liz. after the pool party we watched a movie and she felt asleep in my arms.
sadly i had to left before the others came back. alone in the bathroom i felt like shit, the voices in my head were getting louder. i still had these pills in my pocket someone gave me at the party. i took one in hope i get numb due it. it didn't helped.
i was sick that i couldn't go with to the ship trip. ash told me liz would stay with me. she took care of me. as we laid in my bed i kissed her but she stopped it. i thought at the moment i had ruined everything.
we barely talked after and at dinner i saw how happy she is around others. i wish she would be that happy with me.
back at he bungalow i hated my self so much. i wanted to take those drugs again to numb my feelings but liz found me.
i hated that she saw me like this, but she kissed me and in that moment the world stopped. then ash called and interrupted us.
liz left the room, i took the drugs and put them in my jacket on the floor. i couldn't throw them away. i flushed the toilet and told her the drugs are gone. she smiled and i kissed her again. i had to promise her, that i didn't took drugs and it was the truth.
we made out in the kitchen and god damn i wish we had never stopped.
we went in my room, watched a movie and i felt asleep.
i made her a hickey, lucky only baze saw it. i dont want anyone to know that between us.

later at the party i saw liz with marc. i was jealous but i had no reason because i wasn't better. i had girl on my lap i hook up with a while a go. ...and iz was not my girl.
suddenly liz stood in front of me with tears in her eyes. it broke my heart. baze and i went after her but we were to slow. baze told me she would be at the sea and we went there.
there liz and i fought. it was bad, she found the drugs in my jacket. as i was back at the party i drunk and took a line.
the next morning i looked like death, i haven't eat much the last days, took drugs and drank to much. all i wanted was liz on my side. the angle in white that hold me down. but i saw her at breakfast with marc again. i was so jealous on everybody around her.

today was our second gig here. i felt so down. i changed the set list and gave it to slim. slime told the band.
"kells what? please tell me your not" he looked full concerned at me.
"no but i need that song rn" i said. i put lead you on on the set list.
it wasn't a secret i took other drugs but this one drug was worse and needed that song to remember i still life without that drug.