A Paper Cut Is The Least Of My Worries

APCLW - Chp 19

Fiona’s POV

                The slight sound of music playing in the background drew me out of a deep slumber. I opened my eyes just a little bit—and then I saw Vinny laying there beside me. I put my arm and leg around him, moving myself closer to his warm body. I kissed his cheek and he stirred a little, making a sound that assured me that he was waking up. He rolled over into me, so now we were face to face with each other. Slow breaths left his lips and hit my face. He was laying on his side now, so I wrapped myself around him and pulled even closer to him.  I brushed my lips against his and I smiled.

“I think I love you.” I whispered unintentionally. Crap, I hope he didn’t hear that. What if he didn’t love me back? What if me telling him that made him want to stay even further away from me? Unfortunately my wishes went against me; Vinny opened his eyes and looked at me straight into mine.  I didn’t feel uncomfortable under his gaze though. In fact, I felt just the contrary; it made me more comfortable because I didn’t see rejection in his eyes. Rejection was one of the scariest things for me, and I was glad that the guy that I know I happened to love wasn’t going to shove that in my face. I must admit his lack of speech was making me a little nervous.

                “Well,” he finally said in a groggy voice. “I know I love you.” My heart flipped like ten times before a grin spread over my face. “So maybe you should think about loving me some more and then change that to a definite answer.”

“Oh shut up.” I said as I kissed his forehead. I sighed and lay back down on the pillow. “I wish we could be together…like really be together, you know? I—“

“Fi, you can’t go through life putting your life on hold to please other people. Sometimes you have to grasp the here and the now. I know that we weren’t supposed to happen…but we did. Yeah Kim is going to be mad and hurt at what we’ve done, but she can’t change it; we can’t change it. It just is, you know?” I smiled.

“When did you get so insightful?” he shrugged.

“I’ve just been doing a lot of thinking.”

“Hmm, so you’re reading to tell Kim about us?”

“No.” he answered as he sat up. “But she needs to know eventually. She deserves to know.” Kim deserved a lot more than though. She deserved someone who was going to love her and treat her like the great girl she was. When her and I were together I was sure that the feelings I had for her would develop into love—but then Vinny was added to the equation. I fell for him just like that.

                Vinny and I were perfect for each other, but the bad thing was that Kim had it bad for Vinny. Was it my fault that Vinny fell for me and not her? No. Did I wish he hadn’t of fell for me? Sometimes. That was only because I wanted Kim to be happy though; but like Vinny said, I couldn’t sacrifice my happiness for others throughout life.  I needed to be happy once, and I knew Vinny would give that to me. “I guess we should get ready for school.”

“Dramaville.” Vinny put in with a smile. Yeah, Dramaville alright. With what Matt pulled on Vinny yesterday, I was definitely going to be on my toes for rumors going around. Well, they weren’t really rumors anymore technically, but I knew Vinny wouldn’t want people talking about it. I just couldn’t believe that Matt could turn on Vinny like that. I could understand him not wanting to be Vinny’s friend anymore, based on his immature teenage masculinity, but ganging up on him and beating him up? No, I didn’t understand that at all.  Boys like him were mostly just insecure themselves, so it made me wonder if he was hiding something too; but then again he was just a homophobe. “On another note,” Vinny continued. “I had a good night with you.” He said with a smile.  I blushed and slipped out of bed, walking over to the shower. “I don’t know how to use your shower. Maybe you could uh, show me?” I teased.