A Paper Cut Is The Least Of My Worries

APCLW - Chp 1

            Vincent’s POV

Bridges scared the hell out of me. I had been scared of bridges all my life, even as a child. But they were a pretty popular choice among the suicide community. My personal favorite was the Golden Gate Bridge because it was the one I was about to jump off. How high did I have to jump to kill myself? I had no clue, but I was sure this bridge would take me out of my misery. The Golden Gate Bridge was 746 ft. high roughly, and let's not forget the impact with the water. I shook just thinking about how my bones would crack when they hit the water. I just hoped that my neck would break first. There was seriously no other way I wanted to die. Pills were over rated, and I was a boy. What boy tried to commit suicide by pills? So tbat was out. I didn't want to drown or suffocate myself.  I didn't want to cut myself and bleed out, so jumping off a bridge was my only option.

            I use to wonder all the time about why people committed suicide before I got the suicidal mind--before I told anyone. I always wondered if their life was really that bad that they could see no way out? No ones life can be that bad. I laugh when I look back on that now. There was no way out, and there would never be in this world. People were going to judge you for all of eternity over something so stupid. What they should be judging you for they didn't, all that mattered to them was that you were different and it was wrong. I believe in God, I do, but I tried to convince myself for years that I wasn't a bisexual, or gay. I knew it was wrong, and I really didn't want to be. You can't help what you're feeling. There was no denying it once I hit the mature age.

            The people who jumped off this bridge all jumped off for different reasons I'm sure, but they all jumped and they were all successful in ending their lives. They would probably be the only real family I ever had, they understood me. The world was cruel, and didn't even try to understand me. Well, Kim did, but she was a girl. Nobody downed girls who liked girls like they did with the men. Girls were practically praised for liking girls, it was accepted. But I wasn't accepted, and although Kim understood to an extent what I was going through, she couldn't grasp the whole concept. Not even if she tried. Sure she was talked about and some people didn't like her because of her sexuality, but it was worse for me. And that was why she would never understand me entirely.

            Tears started falling from my eyes as I thought everything over. All the teasing and torture I suffered for years was about to end. The thought brought me happiness, and I suddenly couldn't wait to jump and feel the air brushing past me. I was terrified to actually jump though. What if I changed my mind midair? Who was going to stop me? No one. There was no turning back. Now I just wished someone would come push me. I'd been standing here looking down however many feet I could see for an hour now. I couldn't even see the bottom of the bridge, it was so dark. The darkness scared me a little too. I brushed away my tears with the back of my hand.

I was going to do it.

Kimberly’s POV

            I hated myself for not knowing my best friend Vincent inside and out. Well, I did know him that well; I just couldn’t find him anywhere. He mentioned jumping earlier this week, and I didn’t think he’d actually do anything like that. Nevertheless, I hadn’t heard from him in a couple days. He wouldn’t answer any texts messages, so I decided to let him have a day. That felt like so long ago and now I was a mess because I couldn’t find him anywhere.

            I went as far as going to his house to ask his parents his whereabouts. Considering that his parents practically hated me because I was his friend and didn’t care about what he felt towards men, I was surprised that I even went there to talk to them intentionally. It wasn't the time to struggle with issues between me and them, not when Vincent was missing. When I found out that they hadn’t seen him since the last day I saw him I felt my throat constrict. They hadn’t seen him either. That replayed over and over again in my mind that they hadn’t seen him either and I got one hundred more times worried than I already was. Vincent wasn’t the type of person not to go home for days no matter how much his parents disliked him.

            It was my first time seeing Vincent’s parents actually worry about him when they found out I didn’t know where he was either. They even invited me into the house so I could stay while they called his cell phone. I’d called his phone probably close to thirty times, and he never picked up. I doubted he’d pick up for them if he didn’t pick up for me. I was confirmed correct as his mother dialed his number again and again, tears forming in her eyes. I think she had an idea of what he was going to do, and the thoughts she had. She just kept screaming about how it was all her fault, and soon his father was saying the same. They called the cops and we all piled into the family car. The cops were on alert to look for him all around the city. We were going to do the same. I had a terrible feeling in my gut that Vincent was going to do something terrible, and I would never see him again.

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Just so you know, this chapter was written just to give you some insight at the end of this book. SO, when you start chapter 2, forget what you read. It hasn't happened yet in chapter 2. Actually, Vincent and Kimberly don't even know each other in chapter 2. I was going to just make this part into part 2 of the prologue, but the prologue was just supposed to give you insight on them, not on what was going to happen. Thus I decided to just make this chapter 1.

Anyway,

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