A Paper Cut Is The Least Of My Worries

APCLW - Chp 21

Vincent’s POV

                I stared at Dayton’s relaxed, sleeping face. He looked so vulnerable, and cute. I guess that it was just a human thing to look vulnerable when sleeping, because most people did. Unless they were the size of the Hulk or something. I really didn’t see a reason why people hated others that weren’t straight. So what if our lifestyle went against the Bible? I mean, it was like a 2,000 year old book. Why did everything in there have to be followed? (Author’s Note: I had to put this right here because I don’t want to offend anyone who is religious. I’m Christian myself, but I’m inside Vincent’s head right now, and that is just how he feels. So please don’t get offended, Vincent just has a different opinion, that’s all). In a way, I think people used it as an excuse to mistreat others who didn’t follow all the rules. I couldn’t help being the way I was; I was just attracted to both sexes and that was it.  I didn’t chose it, I mean, who would chose it when someone knew the way they’d be treated when people found out? That’s why it just made me angry to no end when people thought that gays, lesbians, bisexual’s, and transgender’s chose to be what they were. What I didn’t understand most of all was that if God didn’t want us here so bad, why were we here? Why did he allow us to be the way we were? Why couldn’t we be normal and just like the opposite sex? I didn’t know the answer to any of those, and I wasn’t going to waste my time to figure it out. Regardless of the way people treated me now, including my parents, I was glad that people knew. I didn’t feel like walls were closing in on me anymore.

                I felt myself being somewhat torn now. I had almost forgotten how Dayton made me feel. We hadn’t talked for a while other than at work, but that was on strictly on a professional level. I was just torn between him and Fiona. If Fiona was feeling the same way between Kim and I, I definitely understood her now. However, I was sure that I wanted to be with a woman. I wanted the so called “American lifestyle”. I wanted to have a wife and kids. I wanted a house with a white picket fence—no, fuck that. But I did want a house, and at least three cars. I wanted to have enough money to take care of myself and my future family, and then still have enough to go on luxurious vacations with. I knew I could do the same thing with a guy. I could get married--though only in certain states—I could adopt kids—but I wanted my own, I didn’t want to adopt—and I could most definitely have my house and cars and go on vacations with a man. If I did that, I wouldn’t fit in with “the system” though. I didn’t think I’d ever truly be happy if I did that. Society would wreck everything in my life if I took that route. My male partner and I would get stares from others, and we would most likely be excluded from some places. The way people treated non-heterosexuals kind of reminded me of how they used to and maybe still do treat people that are interracial relationships—only far worse. I didn’t understand why everyone couldn’t just be happy with their significant other, no matter their race, sex, gender, or ethnicity. Hell would freeze over before that ever happened though. As my thoughts left my head I rolled over to Dayton, now closer to him.  I felt him breathing slowly on my face. I touched his face with my finger, running it down his chest. Suddenly his eyes opened, letting out a beautiful forest green color. Dayton had one of those eye colors that looked like he needed contact in order to get that color—they just didn’t look real. I knew they were though.  A smile slipped on his face as he kissed me softly.

“Did you have a nice nap?” he asked in a slightly raspy, but yet deep voice. Another thing I noticed about Dayton was that he didn’t sound gay. I knew it was a very stereotype thing for me to think, but he didn’t. If he hadn’t come on to me, I would have thought he was straight. I didn’t think I sounded gay either—and I was happy about that.

“I didn’t sleep, I had too much on my mind.” I told him honestly. He sighed and snuggled a little closer to me.  “I’ve been through this before Vince, it’ll all pass. I promise it will. You have to stay strong though.” he said looking me in my eyes. I felt like his eyes would swallow me, he was looking at me so deeply and intimately.  I exhaled deeply and pulled back a little bit so I could see him more clearly.