Aftermath

2

They ate in, what Cal would consider, comfortable silence. The conversation had remained light after ordering, as Mattie caught her up on how things were at work. Their food arrived in record time and the meal was almost to an end before Calpurnia had processed what was happening.

"So, what about you?" Matthew's eyes bore into hers as he posed, possibly the scariest question he could have asked.

"Oh, I'm uh- I'm good." she couldn't take herself seriously, there was no way Mattie would let it go if she didn't at least make it believable. Truth be told, she didn't know how she was, it was never something she took time to consider. "I've just been working, the usual." Deciding that was an acceptable response she took an enthusiastic bite of her food effectively ending her speech. It wasn't a secret or even something that you couldn't see just by looking at Cal's life, but it was going nowhere and it felt embarrassing to spell that out to Matthew. Nothing had changed for her since before he had left, and everything had changed for him.

Matthew's phone lit up its ringtone blasting from the speakers, jolting her out of her thoughts. He gestured that he would be right back and briskly walked away from the table and out the front doors. Cal was stuck in a trance, she couldn't wrap her head around him being there. She could put no rational reason together, and she wondered if she was imagining the whole thing. By the time the waitress brought the check, Matthew was still gone. She paid the bill before heading out to see if he was still out there on the phone. He was ending the call as she spotted him leaning up against the brick exterior of the building.

"Sorry, work emergency," he said apologetically, "how much do I owe you?" he said, reaching for his pocket. She held out her hand and brushed his efforts off.

"My treat." was all she offered before she started walking and he fell into step next to her. She desperately tried to hold back the next string of words that came out of her mouth, but it was no use. "Are you really here?". She could hear the desperation in her voice. His footsteps halted so suddenly that she had to turn around and take a few steps back to him.

"What do you mean? Of course, I'm here." His words came out softly and his brows knit together as he scanned her face. She averted her gaze and took interest in her shoelaces that were graying from dragging on the ground.

"I just didn't know you were coming and can't figure out why you did and I'm shocked and I was thinking maybe this was a dream and I'm going to close my eyes and wake up and you'll be gone-"

"Woah, slow down" Matthew grabbed her hands to snap her out of it and when she looked up his expression was indiscernible. Cal felt tears prick the corners of her eyes and was startled at her reaction. Again she broke eye contact and instead stared at his hands holding hers, unable to stand the thought of him knowing she was nearly crying. She pulled her hands from his and scrubbed her face.

"Sorry, I just meant to say I was surprised to see you." Cal refused to meet his eyes again and turned to begin walking again, hoping that would ease the awkwardness. Her steps were purposeful for someone who had no idea where the destination was. She was furious with herself. How ridiculous did she have to be over her best friend visiting unexpectedly? Why was she acting crazy and ungrateful? Stupid stupid stupid. She continued at the hurried pace as she walked not even sparing a thought to Matthew who was following behind her clueless as to what was going on.

"Can we talk please?" Mattie's voice broke her from her thoughts. She didn't want to say no, but she was scared to agree as well. What if she didn't want to hear what he has to say?

"Let's grab a drink?" she decided. It wasn't quite an answer to his question but an invitation to extend their time together and an opportunity to talk which seemed good enough as a response. Mattie nodded in agreement and took the lead heading in the direction of their favorite bar.