Aftermath

30

They settled in one of the guest rooms that night, with nothing more than a raised brow from Matthew's mother. Cal could hardly keep her eyes open by the time he joined her in bed with his pajamas on. She had just gotten comfortable snuggled into him when he gasped.

"I almost forgot!" he said attempting to get back up but Calpurnia held onto him keeping him trapped. Matthew wiggled himself free and she let her head plop to the mattress dramatically. Cal listened to him shuffle around in their bag for a while before padding back over to the bed. Instead of laying back down, however, he opted to kneel beside the bed so they were face to face.

He offered her a package wrapped in newspapers with a red ribbon tied around it. She looked to Matthew and back to the gift in her hand. Carefully she removed the ribbon and unwrapped the paper. Inside was a small gold necklace with a rectangular pendant and inscribed on it was "Callie". Calpurnia sucked in a breath of air but her breath caught turning into a choked cry. Carefully she lifted it from the package and looked closer at the letters.

"One of them is my handwriting," he said pointing to it as he spoke. "The other is Rowan's" he guided her hands gently to turn it over and on the back, "Cal" was scrawled in handwriting identical to Rowan's beautiful penmanship, just like he said. It was no use hiding the tears, so she didn't try. Matthew took the necklace from her hand and set it on the nightstand beside the bed before pulling her into a tight hug.

Calpurnia settled down into a trance after a while, with Matthew lightly trailing his fingers over her shoulder and down her arm soothingly. She jerked herself awake, a while later and found him still awake, still holding her. He chuckled against her lips when Cal pressed a kiss to his neck.

"It's the most beautiful gift," she whispered to him, against the prickly skin of his neck. "Thank you, Mattie. I'm overwhelmed."

"I love you, Calpurnia." His hands pulled her closer to him as he spoke the words.

"I love you" she whispered, feeling her eyelids growing heavy again.

...

When Cal woke the next morning she felt like a kid again. She had spoken with Abbey and John quickly the evening before when Matthew had run off to the bathroom, and the perfect plan. After successfully sneaking off while he slept in, she got to work while Abbey was preparing breakfast. She had to make one quick errand and hoped she could pull off the whole idea flawlessly.

"I can't thank you enough for this," she said pulling Meg in for one last hug before she ran with her bags back to her car.

"Merry Christmas Calpurnia!" She hollered as she jogged back to her own car. Cal was back at the house before she knew it, and no sign of Matthew on the main floor. Quickly she pulled the things from the bags and laid them out in the living room. Then, she made her way up the stairs to check on Matthew.

As luck would have it, he slept soundly just where she had left him, if there was one thing she could count on, it was his love for sleeping in. She smiled to herself and crawled over to where he lay on the bed.

"Good morning, Callie" Matthew whispered against her lips as she pressed a soft kiss to them. He moved her leg so she was straddling his torso. His hands snuck up her shirt as he kissed her back, but she pulled away before he could get too worked up, with a little chuckle.

"We are in your parent's guest room," she said patting a hand against his chest a few times. "I have a surprise." Mattie's eyebrows raised in curiosity before she urged him to get up and come downstairs. She ran ahead, happy to see that both Abbey and John were in the living room ready to go.

"Merry Christmas!" The three of them exclaimed when Matthew turned the corner. In front of them was a huge breakfast spread on a picnic blanket in the living room and the TV was on and ready for a terrible Christmas movie to be watched. Matthew didn't move for a moment, Cal waited with a bundle of nerves in her stomach to see his reaction. But after a few long moments, he cracked a smile and jogged over and pulled his parents in for a hug.

"We have breakfast ready, and we need to pick a movie still, but I wanted you to be part of the choice," Cal explained, the nerves getting the better of her. "Oh! And we have Christmas pajamas!" she rushed to pick them up and show them off.

"Cal"

"Your mom made all the food and-"

"Callie" Matthew coaxed her attention back to him by taking both of her hands gently in his. She leaned into his touch, pressing her face into his chest. "It's perfect," he whispered. "Shall we?" he gestured to the pajamas waiting to be worn and she nodded eagerly.

"I owe Megan big time, she helped me pull it off," she said as she pulled on her pajama pants. Matthew finished pulling his shirt over his head, just managing to catch her arm as she lost her balance. When she had righted herself, she pulled her shirt over her head and he kissed her forehead.

Calpurnia reached for the doorknob to go back down but Matthew stopped her. He pulled her back against his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around her middle.

"I love you," he said into her hair, she could feel his lips against the back of her head. His fingers pressed into her sides almost painfully, but she squeezed his arms tighter to her and then lifted one of his hands to her lips.

"I love you," Calpurnia whispered back her mouth moving over the skin of his palm before leaving a kiss in the middle.

"Abbey and John," Cal said reminding herself, maybe the both of them, that they were waiting for them to come back. Matthew nodded and pulled her hand entwined with his down from her mouth.

"Let's go," he said smiling wide at her and leading them to the living room to begin the movie day.

...

After the four of them had spent the day enjoying movies and Christmas cocktails, a fancy red wine after dinner, but by 11 pm Abbey and John had retired to bed. Leaving Matthew and Cal to finish out the day of the movies. They had two left on the list.

"These were Rowan's favorite," Cal said leaning over Matthew's back and hooking her arms loosely around his shoulders. He sat impassive, on the edge of the ottoman looking at the two movies in his hand.

"This was Rowan's favorite tradition." He whispered. He set the movies down and turned his head to look at her. There was a flash of something in his eyes but she couldn't place it. "Are you going to hate me?" Cal was shocked by the question. Before she could even think to pull back, Matthew reached up to hold her hands still slung over his shoulders. "Because if you're going to, we have to stop it here. It can't go any further."

Calpurnia remained still, searching for something to say. Taken aback by the statement itself. Wholly unprepared for the question he was asking her. She opened her mouth and closed it again when she couldn't find the words she was searching for, she pulled her hands from his and sat back putting some space between them.

"I-" she paused still unsure of how to respond.

"Callie-"

"No." she interrupted. "You don't get to say those things to me, then call me that." her voice was low but firm, despite the tears welling in her eyes. Matthew closed his mouth and nodded. "If you want to leave, then do it. Don't look for an invitation from me."

"That's not what I meant." Cal swiped a tear roughly off her cheek.

"Isn't it though? You're saying if I even think I could start feeling guilty, you want to end things." her body propelled from the couch to stand further from him. "Don't you hear how fucked up that is? So if you want to break up with me, do it. If you don't want to risk it, leave me. It wouldn't be the first time, and you clearly aren't the only person to decide to." Her chest heaved from her heavy breaths. "But I'll be damned if I let you sit here and pretend I'm the reason we didn't work. Because I am here. I have given you everything I can offer."

Upstairs she took a second to slow her breathing before she got in bed. Even after a few hours of tossing, she hadn't fallen asleep, and Matthew hadn't come up. But a few moments later Cal heard the unmistakable click of the door shutting down the hall. Only then did she let herself really cry.