Aftermath

Epilogue

If there was ever anything he was certain of, it was marrying her. Even now, as she went about her morning quietly, taking time to herself, she was intangible. The way her hair barely breached the tops of her shoulders, falling messily over her back as she stretched her arms up and craned her neck back to reach for something on the top shelf. She was something meant to be seen.

Her hands dropped to her sides with a quiet huff, and she turned around swiftly to face him. Matthew had no time to close his eyes and pretend to be asleep still, she had caught him. Her eyes sparkled. The green glinting in the light from the window, casting a line across her face. He held out a hand, beckoning her to him.

Cal mumbled something under her breath as she climbed across the mattress to him. When she was in front of him she dropped her knees and lifted her hand to brush his hair back from his forehead. Matthew's hand ran down her back, over the curve of her butt, and rested where her calf pressed against the back of her thigh.

Matthew had struggled with grasping things as they happened in real time since he was a kid. He distinctly remembered driving to work at 21 and being struck with the realization that he had a license, he was legally allowed to drive. It felt foreign in his mind to know that about himself. So as Calpurnia, the love of his life, knelt on a mattress in front of him- lazily playing with his hair, in a boat, on their honeymoon- he found it unimaginable that this could be real. Being with her was a dream he hadn't given himself the luxury of entertaining, since the moment he knew he would love her infinitely.

Something was intoxicating about her. How she threw her head back when she let out a laugh, he could still picture her the first time he saw it. The somber quality of her eyes that was run off only, by the crow's feet beside them when she grinned mischievously. Lips full enough to be tantalizing, caught between her teeth when she thought too hard. In summer Cal's face was covered in a light spray of freckles, and her hair lightened just slightly in the sun. In the fall, her cheeks rosied through the end of winter. Her features became more striking, the green of her eyes deeper, more alluring.

Every now and then, Calpurnia would catch his attention and crinkle her nose in a quick smile, a nonverbal "I love you". When her mind was elsewhere, her fingers fiddled with the seams of anything within reach- couch cushions, clothing, blankets, pillows. Late at night, only sometimes, and only when she was deeply asleep, she would snore just once. She preferred her showers just above lukewarm, never hot.

For these reasons, amongst many others, he wondered for a moment, when the reality of their life together would become apparent to him.

"Hmm?" Her eyebrow quirked in question. He mirrored the gesture back. "I asked what you were so deep in thought about." Cal leaned forward and kissed him, his thumb pressed into her thigh as he squeezed her leg where his hand had been resting and urged her forward into the kiss.

"You."

"What an honor." She smiled against his lips, and then sat back on her feet. "Can we go look around?" Her curiosity rose her at a bright and early 5 am, and she had been unable to get back to sleep. Matthew nodded and stretched his arms above his head, a sliver of skin appearing where his shirt rose with his arms. The morning carried a breeze over the top deck of the boat, tousling their hair and ruffling their clothes.

Boats lined the marina, but there were little signs of life yet. While Matthew watched the water, Cal watched him. His hair was unkempt from sleep, then the wind. She didn't care to watch anything else ever again, as long as she could watch him. He was incredibly tranquil, his eyebrows smooth against his forehead, a picture of peace. Not even a fresh trim for the wedding could hide the mused hairs of his beard from the pillow, her hands too. His brown eyes met hers.

"Are you done staring?" Calpurnia shook her head no.

"I'll never have enough." Matthew moved to trap her against the railing between his hands. She tucked her head beneath his chin and kissed the soft skin of his jaw. A gust of wind pebbled goosebumps on her skin, and Matthew pulled her tighter against him.

Cal never thought she'd marry Matthew. As a kid, she believed there was a certain amount of love a person was allotted, and when it was gone, it was gone. John and Abbey Moreno had shown her more love than she thought possible. Cal didn't think there was any love left for her, it was all used up on her childhood. That's why she never trusted that Matthew meant it, there wasn't any left, he couldn't. When she stopped accepting that, she realized how silly a thought it was, to begin with. Matthew, Mattie, had loved her for most of their lives, loudly.

"I don't want to do anything today." She announced from the couch and bit off a piece of her bagel and Matthew chewed a bite of his omelet. He nodded, in agreement and silence lapsed between them as they ate.

"Well," he countered, breaking the silence, and she looked up from her plate, "I might want to do one thing." Calpurnia cocked her head to the side.

"What?" She urged when he only smiled, not continuing his statement. He winked and set his plate down, crawling toward her.

"Mattie..." she fussed when he tried taking her plate away, mid bagel. But relented when he kept pulling, he set it down as well. He kissed her cheek, then the other.

"You."