Aftermath

37

It only felt like a few minutes when Matthew jostled her from her sleep as he stood. The cool air nipped at her warm skin and she jerked fully awake.

"C'mon baby," he said offering her a hand up out of the hammock. She looked at him for a prolonged moment before she registered what he was saying and nodded. Her stomach churned the moment she sat up and she stilled. "Okay?" He asked after a minute and she nodded slowly and finished standing up.

She didn't even make it to the porch before the alcohol made a reappearance. But when she had finished, Matthew helped her upstairs and into the bathroom. Once she was undressed she turned to get in the bath and caught his eye in the mirror, he was smiling at her softly.

"What's that look for?" She said, covering herself timidly when she noticed he was looking her over. Matthew furrowed his brow.

"Don't do that." He said shaking his head as he spoke. "You're too beautiful to keep covered up." His fingers found hers and pulled them gently holding her arms away from her.

She stilled under his gaze, and he finished looking her over slowly before meeting her eyes again. "Too damn beautiful." Matthew pulled her towards him, and let her fall into his chest, kissing along her jawline.

"Mattie," she mumbled protesting weakly.

"Hmm?" he said against her skin continuing to pepper kisses on the skin, moving down to her neck.

"Matthew..." she urged a little more meaningfully. He stopped kissing her and met her eyes. "We can't right now," she whispered feebly. He pressed his forehead to hers.

"I know, I know." He dropped his forehead to her shoulder and spoke again.

In the bath, she washed with a washcloth. He didn't break contact with her for longer than a few seconds. His fingers massaged shampoo into her hair while she washed her face. When he took the cup from the ledge to rinse her body, each pour was accompanied by a hand running over her skin where the water ran. When she sank underneath to rinse the shampoo from her hair, Matthew ran his fingers along the top of her thigh. He even toweled her off and helped her into pajamas. The first time they broke contact was for him to walk back across the hall to drain the tub and hang up her towel before they went to sleep.

...

It shouldn't have come as a surprise to Calpurnia that after a weekend as incredible as hers had been, there would be consequences waiting for her when they got back. Good things in life don't usually come free. But it did shock her, the knock echoed through the apartment not even thirty minutes after they'd made it back home from John and Abbey's. Matthew jogged down the steps to answer the door.

"Good evening, I'm officer Kepping. Is Ms. McConnell home?" Cal's legs propelled her forward of their own accord. For all she was concerned, she never left the spot she stood halfway between the living room and kitchen.

A few words stuck out to her. Harmony. Under the influence. Driving. Gone. All the other words never made it to her ears. She couldn't recall how long the officer stood there in the doorway with her and Matthew. She couldn't even place his face truthfully. Calpurnia, couldn't tell you what she did in the minutes, hours, and even days following the visit from Officer Kepping.

...

The next thing she could really remember was sitting in a chair, shoulder blades pressed into the wooden back, hard. A chair from the table in the dining room of her childhood home. A table where other people sat, her mothers, mother her own grandma she realized, she had only met a handful of times as a young girl. Her mother's sister, who she now could quickly place as her aunt as the family tree unfolded before her, had spoken quick rambled words to her when she arrived, but otherwise had never spoken to Cal before. There were a few more people dotting the dining room and living room, most of which she didn't recognize.

Calpurnia, from the corner of the dining room where she sat, realized dejectedly that she was crying and reached up angrily to wipe the tears away. The cool metal of her engagement ring against her cheek stunned her before she jerked it away, and slammed her hands back into her lap. She heard a noise from beside her and wrenched her head to the side to see Matthew standing beside her. His face remained flat, but his eyes reflected an emotion she didn't care to place.

"What?" she bit out quietly.

"Please not here, Cal." he sighed gently, squatting down beside her to level their eyes.

"Fuck you." she spat and stood, harshly walking to the door and slamming it shut behind her. Cal's hands trembled as she ran them through her hair ripping through the tangled waves. When her breathing had slowed to normal she lowered her arms beside her and let her palms grow tingly against the fabric of her pants.

Her mother was dead. Cal wasn't sure if she had been killed by a drunk driver, or if she had been driving drunk and wrecked herself. The details felt too formal, too intimate for their relationship. She was sure the police officer, had divulged this information but she didn't remember and didn't ask to be reminded. She heard the door open and shut softly again.

"Matthew, can I please just have a fucking second?" She groaned whirling around to face Owen. "Oh. I thought you were..."

"Matthew, I gather." He said leaning his back against the house next to her.

"What are you doing out here?" She leaned against the house as he did before pushing off to face him. "Did Matthew send you out after me?"

"No, he didn't." She dropped her head to the ground. The grass was long, longer than she'd seen it since her dad had left. Her mom didn't leave her room for a week. Cal would sneak in when it was silent and make sure she was still breathing, she always was. The grass had gotten so long after a few weeks of him being gone and then one day she came home from school and it was cut.

"Cal?" She looked up to see Owen looking at her with a solemn expression. "Did you hear me just now?" She couldn't find words to respond so she shook her head and looked away again, this time to the street. "I said, did you eat anything yet?" Her eyes flicked to him and back to the street. It seemed so unimportant, for him to concern himself with whether or not she'd eaten. There seemed to be much bigger things to focus on.

"I'm going home," Calpurnia said not even sparing a parting glance before walking toward the street.

"Calpurnia," she didn't slow, or give a verbal cue she was listening so he spoke again, "I'll send Matthew." She took a few more steps before she stopped and turned back to look at Owen.

"Do you know what happened?"

"With your mom?" she nodded, standing still where she'd stopped. "She hit a tree, there was double the legal limit in her blood work."

"But she didn't hurt anyone else, right?" Owen shook his head no.

"No, no one else was involved." she nodded and turned back around to continue her walk home. "Didn't the police talk to you?" Cal didn't respond.