Con Todo El Corazón (C. Madrigal)

Who I Am

Tw: mentions of substance abuse

Remember when I said Y/n comes with painful secrets?

But if you don't feel comfortable reading this feel free to skip

It's been a week I've been sneaking out at 1am to see Camilo, papa surprisingly hasn't figured it out. Even when he lifted the restriction of leaving my room at night, I still chose the window route to be safe.

We started agreeing to meet up earlier, tonight it was 11pm, I had been waiting for Camilo for an hour. Since I didn't really mind the scenery or the feeling of this riverspot, I decided to just give him a while longer.

***

About 15 minutes later I saw Camilo coming through the bushes like he usually does, I got up quick with the intentions of asking him what took so long, he had an unsure look on his face.

My jaw dropped when my papa came out from the trees behind Camilo. "What..?" My first instict was just to sheild Camilo, "I can explain." I say to papa

But something looked different about him, not as angry as I expected him to be, but instead had a more sensitive look in his eye.

"It's okay Y/n." I hear Camilo say behind me, "I told him everything." Papa says, "I hope you're not mad, but if you two really love eachother as much as you say you do, it's important to love all of eachother."

My heart sank, this could only mean one thing. I slowly turned around to see Camilo, "I wanna talk to you Y/n." He says with a serious tone

I gulped, "I'll give you two some privacy." I hear Papa say as I focus on the sound of his footsteps fading into the distance. Standing here in silence with Camilo felt like an interrogation room.

"What did he tell you. How did he find you." I asked quietly looking to the ground, Camilo sighed "I was on my way here but then I saw him, I know I could've turned into someone else so he wouldn't catch me but I figured it's no use, that he's gonna find out about us eventually. So I went to talk to him, he was defensive at first but we just stayed outside talking, he just told me you've been through a lot and that I needed to be careful with your heart.. because of a dark path you faced in highschool?"

I bit my lip and walked over to a spot and sat down, Camilo came and sat next to me, I brought my knees up to my chest and rested my arms on them. I shut my eyes, letting out a shameful sigh, "You don't know how many times I hoped I'd never have to tell you about this. But I didn't always have a heart of gold.. there was a time where I had no cares in the world."

I rolled my eyes towards him, "Camilo, it's time I told you the truth about who I am.. because there's some stuff I lied to you about."

Flashback 3 years ago

I was 15 when I had my first boyfriend, Mason. Mason Viara, my first love. He and I were deemed cutest couple every now and then, but his actions said otherwise.

Mason and his friends went on vacation over the summer during the last week of school, so I didn't see him again until 3 weeks into September, which brings us to when he brought me to the yard to talk things over with me.

More likely, the story about the 'hot girl' he hooked up with on the trip. "Can we skip the part where you cheat on me?" I plead squinting my eyes in disbelief. Mason sighed, "neadless to say Y/n.. it's over. I'm serious about this girl you know?" He patted my shoulder and walked away.

I sat there heartbroken, sick to my stomach after hearing word for word how my boyfriend cheated. Julissa, my best friend came and sat next to me, "I'm so sorry Y/n, but the guy was an idiot."

"Yeah." I trailed, it wasn't long before my unfortunate breakup got around and my 2 other friends, Lily and Reina came to me, "Don't worry hermana, you won't even remember his name by next week."

Back to present

"And with that being said, we started doing weed after school like twice a week.." I was scared to look at Camilo's reaction to my confessions until I heard him say, "I'm not gonna judge you Y/n."

I looked to see him looking at me with sad eyes, "tell me more about what happened, paint me a full picture."

I sighed, "well, I kind of just accepted the weed because I thought we were just having a little bit of fun, I started caring less about my wellbeing and what people thought of me, so we would do stupid stuff like skip school, smoke weed, hitching rides with random guys

Back to flashback

"Tony, meet my sisters." I said as Lily and Reina strutted over and stood behind me, "same dad different moms." Reina said, "hence why we all look different." Lily chimed

"We're kind of far from home you know?" I say to the stranger called Tony, "We're in need in someone real kind." Reina slyly hinted

Tony shrugged, "I can take you girls, (Y/c) is too far by walk." We exchanged excited looks, "Thank you doll."

***

When we got back to school the 3 of us were called to the principles office.

Someone ratted us out about the drug usage and they caught on to us constantly leaving school. "This kind of behavior is entirely unacceptable." The principle said, "Miss Cortez, Miss L/n, Miss Ortega. As of today there will be serious consequences, the 3 of you expelled."

The 3 of us let out a frustrated sigh. When I stormed out of the office I saw Julissa, "Welp, guess we won't be classmates anymore." I breathed letting my hands hit my thighs as I walked past her, "I told them."

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned my heel, "you what?"

Julissa gulped, "look you know I had no choice, you were putting yourself in danger for god's sake! You're losing yourself I didn't wanna see you get hurt!" She cried

I stormed over and shoved her shoulders, "are you kidding me?! Why would you do that?! I was just trying to live a little."

Julissa's expression changed from cautious and sensitive to an anger filled heart. "You don't know what road you would've been facing if I hadn't stopped you. You were doing all kinds of dangerous stuff, I couldn't watch you play russian roulette with your own life! But you know what, have a nice one." Tears in her eyes as she stormed off

I couldn't be bothered in the moment to mourn losing my childhood bestfriend. A part of me desperately wanted to apologize, take back everything I did, but what could I do now?

End of flashback

"I lost touch with Julissa after that. I got moved to another school, once I graduated my mama sent me here in no time, she-she thinks I'm a terrible influence around her daughter." I said the last part with a broken voice holding back tears

"What are you talking about? You're her daughter.." Camilo rubbed my shoulders trying to ease me, I rested my head on his lap "her other daughter. The only one she's proud of, Inez. Like I'm just her big let down." I sobbed

Camilo carefully lifted me up from my back, I wrapped my arms around his neck and allowed myself to sob in his chest, he held me close rubbing my back, "Shhh, it's okay amor. Deep breathes in, deep breathes out."

I did as he instructed, slowly calming down. Camilo gently kissed my forehead and spoke, "Hey, I don't care what anyone says, you were just going through a lot at home and at school. That doesn't make me love you any less, I'm here for you no matter what."

I felt so relieved and secure with Camilo, "I love you so much." I say snuggling up against his chest, he held me tight, "I love you too Y/n. Just know that I never want anything to happen to you either." He whispered

I could tell what he meant by that, most days I wish I could take back everything I said to Julissa and the way I treated people. I just didn't think anyone could ever love me knowing the kind of person I once was, I'm so glad I was sent an angel like Camilo, so I knew I wouldn't make the same mistakes with him.