Homophobic (Billdip)

Chapter 21

Dippers POV
I wake up, alone in my bed. Huh? How'd I get here? It took me a minute, then I remembered... I was on the floor crying into Bill's strong arms... I must've fallen asleep. He must've put me into the bed. I blushed at that thought. He's so great, I really couldn't imagine my life without him. I started blushing again, thinking of Bill. Ughhh stop! I shouldn't be thinking of him that way he's my friend. But I enjoy thinking about him like this. His warm hands, his tight ass- Shit I'm such a pervert but lately it seems that I've been noticing everything about him, from those beautiful eyes to his flawless posture stance. My mind is engraved with his husky scent, god he smells so good. There's no way I'm not gay. Clearly I've been in denial about my sexuality all this time, but finally I feel like I know who I am. I think I'm Gay- or Bi- because I know I've liked girls before but I've never liked them as strongly as I like Bill. It's a terrible thing truly, he used to be evil, horrible, he traumatized me and my whole family so I don't even understand why I like him. But no he's different now, he isn't the same evil Bill Cipher he was in the past, he's shown me his true colors now and he means well. Dammit, screw these thoughts that bring me so much pleasure. He really is my guilty pleasure.

I have something to do, and it has nothing to do with Bill. I have plenty of time to think about his soft lips and chiseled jawline later. Now I've gotta do this, that I've never been able to do for years. But it needs to be done.
So I gathered myself, and started to walk out the room when I heard- The shower running. Oooh. That means he's in the shower. Oh my- he's in my shower! Soon my mind starts to race with perverted thoughts. I just gotta get out of here or else I'll be the one needing a shower-

So I raced out of the room, and walked down the hall to the right. And soon I arrived at my destination. Mabels Room. I knocked on the door gently, filled with anxiety to whether or not she would even open the door for me. But surely enough she did, she looked surprised to see me. She had a sheepish expression on her face, looking very nervous, she motioned for me to come in and then she closed the door. She looked at me as if she was waiting for me to start the conversation. I took around five deep breaths in order to not have a panic attack. She looked at me questionably. So finally, I spoke up. "Listen Mabel I really need to talk to you because I wanna-" I said trying not to freak out. "Go on." She ushered. "I want to see-" I went on. She looked at me with curiosity in her eyes. "I really want to apologize to you Mabel, I know this is long overdue but all I wanna do is make things right with you, I miss how it used to be, I miss when I felt you were my favorite person in the world, I miss when we told each other everything and were the best of friends. I know I can't erase everything I did but I will do everything I can to earn your trust back, please I'm so sorry." I told her while sobbing. It all just came out. She had a shocked expression on her face, but then she pulled me into a strong embrace. "Oh Dipper, you have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that!" She said with sniffles. And we stood there sobbing into each other's shoulders. I couldn't control my feelings anymore, I had to let it all out.

Then, finally she pulled away from the hug. "Yes Dipper I can forgive you, it will take some time but I know it can be done, I've wanted my brother to return to me for so long and now it's finally happening, and I'm so happy." She added while still sniffling. Tears were still pouring down my warm cheeks but they were both sad and happy tears. I can now finally make things right with my sister. "Dipper, I know Bill is responsible for this, and I know you're in love with him." She yelped with a excited grin. I blushed out of embarrassment, "It's true that I like Bill, but I'm not in love with him yet." I replied awkwardly. She rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh Dipper, don't underestimate me, I know what two people in love look like." I laughed awkwardly. "You're right about that, but I really don't think I'm in love yet though I don't know what that even feels like, to be in love with someone." I told her, she looked down at the floor. She was silent for a few seconds and then she shared something I was a bit surprised about. "I do, because I'm in love with someone, her name is Pacifica Northwest.." My eyes widened. "Wow Mabel, I'm not judging or anything but I'm just surprised it's her, though I've noticed from afar that you two are close." I grinned. She smiled as well, I guess she thought I'd take it worse... I don't blame her, before I would've probably told her it was wrong and she was disgusting. I'm still so ashamed of how I used to. But now I can show her she has my support. She proceeded to tell me more, "I actually Wrote her letters as her secret admirer and well- she's been taking it really well but I'm so scared to tell her how I feel and to tell her it's me who's writing them." I looked up at her. "Don't worry sis, she will probably be happier once she realizes it's you, she so clearly cares a lot about you, I genuinely think you changed her for the better she's less of well- a snob ever since you two have gotten close." She laughed and nodded. "So- when are you gonna confess to Bill?" She asked while winking with a greedy smirk on her face. "Well uh- I- I don't know okay I don't even know if I will." She screeched. "What do you mean?! You have to tell him! He so clearly likes you back Dipper you can't waste your chance, you have to tell him! Cmon Dipdot! I believe in you." I smiled, she had called me DipDot again, a nickname she hasn't used since we were kids. It sent warmth through my heart. And finally I started to feel at piece for once. For a minute I felt like everything went back to normal, like I never did what I did and me and Mabel were best friends again just like in the past. "Well Mabel, I might do eventually but I'm not ready yet, okay?" I admitted. "Yeah it's okay I get it." She said. I nodded. "Well Mabel, I'm gonna go back to my room, but I'll see you around!" I said excitedly. She winked and then said, "Yeah Dipper go back to your man." I laughed awkwardly. "Yeah well he's not mine yet-" I called out while walking out of the door. She laughed. Then I started on back to my room.

I opened up the door to my room and what I saw next, was so great. It sent all types of butterflies floating in my stomach. It was Bill standing there- wearing only a towel. I turned red like a tomato. He winked at me in a way that sent shivers down my spine. After that, I covered my eyes. "Dammit Bill! Just get dressed." I yelled. "
Are you sure you really want that?"
"No." I said in my head. But he still heard because of course he can read minds. "Yes Bill get dressed!!" He walked closer to me and removed my hands from my eyes. "Bill- please don't touch me.." I whispered out of desperation. I only said it because I knew I couldn't resist him if he did. He cuffed my face in his hand. And all of a sudden pulled me into a rough passionate kiss. When he pulled away he just gave me a crimson smile. Damn him for being so hot. But that was definitely the best kiss I've ever had in my entire life, he left me so flustered I could barely move. He winked at me again and then just walked out of the room. "Fuck I thought! He was teasing me." I thought frustrated. "Well two can play at that game." I thought with a huge smirk. Then I walked out to look for him.