When i got you

Chapter 34- i can do it.

"Manong, sa Lacson's Village po." Sabi ko sa isang taxi driver. I just need to fix it. I have to, for the sake of my happiness, for the sake of our relationship. Im doing this all because .. I love him

Tears are now falling to my face, and it make my eyes blured. What if he dont want me to come back? What if he is serious that he want me to go away far from him? What if.... Brittany He loves you,dont overthink.

"Ma'am Andito na po tayo." Inabot ki na ang bayad ko at naglakad papunta sa bahay ni Gabby. Jeoff Gabriel James Lacson. I love you and that's why I'm here. I want you back.

Ilang lakad pa ay natanaw ko na ang bahay nila. My knees are now shaking and I'm feeling like I can't say any single word to him.

"Ah? Ma'am sino hinahanap nyo?" Sabi ng isang katulong na nagdidilig

"I'm looking for Gabby, is he here?" Tumango lang sya at pinagbuksan ako ng gate.

"Just tell him that im in the garden, at please manang pag tinanong nya if sino sabihin mo kaibigan mo." Tumango nalang ulit ang katulong "Thanks" nangangamba kasi ako na baka hindi sya lumabas pagnalaman nyang ako pala ang naghahanap sa kanya.

Patagal ng patagal. Lalo akong ninenerbyos, im feeling like im going to explode.

"Sino ba yun Manang , di mo naman pala kilala pinapasok mo" halata sa boses nya ang pagkairita.. Natatakot ako na baka....

"Gabby"the moment i say his name. My heart beat fast. Faster than before. But the way he look at me, i feel worthless

"What are you doing here?" He said with lazy tone. Okay i have to start this. I have to fix this

"Gabby, i-im sorry if i did something that embarrassed you. Please let just fix this--"nang gigilid na ang luha ko.

"All about us is done. Brittany moved on. What happened last day is now past." He said but not looking in my eyes.

"Are you insane huh? You really want to go without saying the fucking reason. Come on spill it up" nataas na din ang boses ko because im now desperate to have him back.

"You know the reason? You really want me to say it? Okay. Close your eyes."

"But--" why should I? Do I really need to do that? "I said close it. Pag sinabi kong buksan mo na,buksan mo na." He command. I just closed my eyes and he start to talk.

"Im not love you anymore. Yes im..... Not love you." Sa sinabi nyang yon ay biglang bumukas ang aking mata. At kitang kita ko sa mata nya ang pagpatak ng luha nya.

"Please, let's just stop hurting each other. You love me and I know that. I feel that. Tell me the real reason. Just the truth--"

"OKAY. I give up" tumalikod sya at nakita ko ang pagtaas at pagbaba ng balikat nya. His sobbed make me feel so bad." I want to break up with you because you will not live long. Masasaktan lang ako dahil iiwan mo ko."

"Nakikipagbreak ka dahil may sakit ako? Ganon kababaw?"

"Oo dahil May sakit ka na kahit sino ay matatakot pag kasama ka. Pag Hinimatay ka nagpapanic ako dahil di ko alam ang gagawin. Napapgod na kong alagaan ka at intindihin ang kalagayan mo. I have no freedom to do what i want because I always think what if my mangyari sayo. Napapagod na ko. Nakakapgod kang mahalin" sabi nya sakin with loud voice and he really took effort para lang masabi ito sa pagmumukha ko. He is so deadly serious. Para akong sinampal sa sinabi nya. He really hurting me,badly .

"But why are you crying?" I asked.

"Tears of joy. Dahil nasabi ko na ang dati ay gusto ko ng sabihin. "

"Okay. If that's what you want, you're tired and I understand. You dont love me, I understand. You want freedom,I understand. I have to understand because i love you." Tumalikod na ko. Gusto kong magwala.

"Honey? Ang tagal mo? Minamassage mo pa ko eh--" ang boses nayon. Kay Sam, is he doing massage for Sam?

Feeling ko babagsak ako, the moment i held the gate. I feel tired and Empty .