Demon Seed 2

Chapter 16||

|| Kentrell||

"How does that make you feel?", she asked looking at me through the video call.

"I don't know , I guess sad it never was my intentions I just never make smart decisions when it come to people I care about in my life", I told her.

"And why is that?", she asked writing something down on her yellow notepad.

"Smcht mane because they always leave at the end , I know where my heart at , but it's just so hard for me to express it the way I want too , so much shit go on in my head", I said looking away.

"Kentrell your feeling guilty, do you think possibly because of the poor decisions you choose to act on to hurt the ones you care for , may be the reason why they are so quick to leave out your life?", she asked.

"You self sabotage new relationships , that can be healthy with toxic relationships and life habits that you are used to because you refused to open your self up and so quickly to doubt and assume with all the negative thoughts you can think of that will detaine you from true happiness so you misuse , abuse , cheat , and more because you refuse to give into what you truly want ", she said.

I froze really thinking about what she said , do I really self sabotage myself?

Why won't I like I be happy ?

Did I really do this to lexis ?

"How can I change ? , how to fix what's wrong with me?", I asked looking back at the zoom call.

"Mr.Gaulden like I've been trying explaining , I can guide , support the advice and work of progress we have reach during these sessions this past year , but that is all , I've been doing my job now it's your turn to do yours", she said.

I looked at her confused as fuck as I mugged the screen.

"You have to open up , you have deep traumatic wounds from your childhood, and your past relationships with these woman you speak about and not to least you have to be openly honest and take accountability for your actions that's how you grow mentally", she said.

I nodded understanding what she talking bout , this shit ain't about to be easy , I wanna get better for myself and for my kids.

I want happiness, a nigga wanna get married and be loved , I ain't getting no younger I'm tired of being the fuck up , I'm tired of these demons talking to me , it's time to shut they bitch ass up.

"Aye before I do , how I know u ain't the feds you look Opp as fuck Dr.Rose", I liked at her as she bussed loud laughing.

"Kentrell I can assure you I am no Opp, if you really believe I was someone who's the enemy, you wouldn't be talking to me at this very moment"she said.

"What you saying don't me Shit to me you just talking anybody could talk", I said leaning back on the couch.

She paused over the screen for a second before she took off her blazer, revealing all type of tattoos up and down her sleeves, then she moved her hair to the side revealing 3 tear drops on her face.

Damnnnnnnnnnnn! , Dr . Rose gangsta gangsta , I thought.

"Do I still look like someone who's a snitch Mr. Gaulden?", she asked raising her eyebrow.

I smacked my teeth , looking away I'm not about to admit I'm stalling.

"I will take that as a No , I revealed a part of myself of my past that doesn't define my life anymore , trust is what you lack heavily", she said.

"Now that we both confirmed I am someone who can be trusted, we can and will continue on to the next step of your journey", she smiled as I mugged her.

This lady see right through my ass.