The Ballad Of Nirvana

Chapter 16

Ahlada Tamas: I couldn't care less about you.

Indriya: Yeah, so why are you here in the first place?
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Chapter 16

Indriya was very still, she stood paralysed watching Bilvani sob silently and wipe the tears away with the back of her hand.
She walked closer to the Princess of Bhadra and wrapped her arms around her. Bilvani whimpered slightly but she didn’t pull away from her, Indriya embraced her and held her in her arms and tapped Bilvani on the back gently.

“Princess, please don’t tell my brother, he is the only one left for me, if he hates me too, then there won’t be a purpose for my damned life.” Her voice was muffled, but she wept and wept in Indriya’s arms. Indriya gulped a dead weight that dropped in her throat. She pulled back from the librarian and gripped her arms.
“Is there a purpose now?” Indriya asked pinning Bilvani with a stare.

“Bilvani, we have to tell Agni…” But Bilvani cut in through the sobs.
“No Princess, he will despise me, I am sure he already does.” She almost yelled.
Indriya tightened the grip on Bilvani’s arms and looked into her welled up eyes.

“Bilvani, if you think he is the only family left for you, don’t you think you’re the only family left for him?” Her voice was soft, gentle. Bilvani broke down almost falling to the ground, she wrapped her arms around Indriya taking her down with her.

It was evening by the time she consoled the lost Princess of Bhadra, but then she couldn’t convince her to tell Agni the truth. She recalled how hollow and sad his eyes were when he mentioned his sister, who was now crying in her arms.
Indriya didn’t know whether she had to feel sad for the Princess of Bhadra or feel annoyed that she wasn't telling Agni about this. But she tried one last time.

“Bilvani, if you don’t Agni then I will.” Her voice was absolutely grave.
“Why, Princess? Why do you care about it, about me?” She hollered.
“Bilvani, I care about Agni, he saved my life.” Indriya said coldly. “Besides he calls me Princess and he is teaching me how to save myself, he is making me independent. He saved my life not once but twice and this is probably the only way I can repay him.”

“Princess, you do realise that he is not doing that for you right? He has been given orders to do so by our stepmother.” Bilvani stopped sobbing, and for an unknown reason a deep, narrow, hollow chasm broke and yawned in her heart. But Indriya ignored the words, she didn’t want that chasm to widen.

“That is not the point, Bilvani, you have to tell him, because he still loves you, loves you for the way you took care of him after your mother died. Trust me when I say I saw it in his eyes, and I could see what he was seeing because I read his mind, I was moved to tears when he ended the story, not because my mother died but because I could feel the endless sadness he felt and it made me feel that no one deserved that sadness. It’s just...it makes two of you suffer every breath you take at the distance. And it sure doesn’t feel like he is doing it because of the orders.” Indriya’s eyes stung, but she blinked the tears away and dismissed the feeling, not just because the Princess of Bhadra was crying but because of what she had said before. ‘He is not doing it for you… I know that but why does it… hurt?’

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Bilvani could only nod in response, she could see the Princess’s eyes were lined with silver. ‘But why?’ she thought. They didn’t know each other for that long. Can a person develop such a deep bond of friendship in just a month?
She cared for Agni, she did, and Bilvani could see it, but the thought of telling him made her heart pound. He would hate her, despise her for leaving him to rot.
But Bilvani wanted to tell him not for her brother, but for the Princess, who was helping two people who she barely knew. That kind soul deserved to be happy but, she was to take up an unbearable burden at such a young age, that she herself couldn’t imagine. The responsibility, not a state or country but an entire world.
Bilvani walked toward the Princess and held her hands, gently.