Soulmate [B.Barnes]

nineteen- confession

I stretched out on the couch as Bucky's arm lazily rested on my hip. My head was laid on his chest as the movie played in the background. It was the day after the mission and the team decided we all needed a day or two to breathe. So of course I and Bucky didn't oppose. 

We had the whole floor to ourselves as everyone else was either busy or asleep. And we weren't taking advantage of the absence of interruptions. 

"I didn't know they made the hobbit into a movie."

"I still like the book better," Bucky said, holding me closer to his chest. I smiled, "I do too."

A few more minutes passed. The movie got more intense, as did the tension in the room. "Doll..." I looked up to Bucky. "Can we talk?" I nodded, "Yeah, of course." Getting up, I paused the movie, sitting beside Bucky on the couch. "What about?"

He took a deep breath, entwining our fingers. "I feel like I never got a chance to tell you...." Bucky trailed off, leaving me in suspense. 

"Tell me what?"

Bucky looked up, gazing into my eyes as he brought my hand to his lips, leaving a soft kiss on my knuckles. 

"I love you."

I felt my heart stop beating as the world started to spin. "Oh Bucky, I-"

"Doll when you fell. I wanted to go back." He interrupted, not letting me speak. 

"I wanted to go back for you but Steve pulled me away." I listened in silence. "I thought you died." His head dropped as a single tear slipped down his cheek. I could feel the way his body tensed even talking about it. "I spent days drinking and trying to forget about you."

That one hurt. 

"I'm sorry, Bucky."

He shook his head, "I wanted to believe that you were a figment of my imagination...That maybe you weren't real. Then it'd be easier."

Tears sprung to my eyes, hearing how much pain I had unintentionally put him through. "I'm sorry-"

"It's not your fault, doll." Bucky shook his head, grabbing the back of my neck as he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. "And then I fell off that train."

I looked up to him, seeing him gaze into my eyes. "And the worst part of it wasn't getting my arm ripped off or being put in cryo..." He trailed off. 

"Bucky you don't have to explai-"

"The worst part about it was waking up in a cell next to you and not being able to stop the doctors as they ripped you from my grasp."

Tears streamed down both of our faces as I collapsed into his chest. "I'm sorry. Bucky...I'm so sorry."

He held me in his arms. His hand tightly wound around my waist as the other kept my head buried into his neck. "I am too, Doll. I am too." 

We sat in silence. Only small sniffles could be heard through the large apartment. I looked up, wiping the pad of my thumb across his cheek to catch a tear. "Bucky....It wasn't your fault."

"I saw you in the lab when they took me and I couldn't help you."

I shook my head, softly placing my hand on his jaw so he would look me in the eyes. "Bucky, listen to me." He stayed quiet, holding my face in his hands. 

"When I fell it was purely an accident. Not you. Not Steve. Not even Johann Schmidt caused that." I felt Bucky tense under my touch as I spoke his name. 

"Yn, I-"

"No, James." He wiped another tear streaming down my face. "You did nothing, absolutely nothing wrong." I could see the way he wanted to object. The way he wanted to say it was his fault or he should've done more. But I couldn't let him think that. Not after years of him believing it. 

"I was standing in the middle of the bridge." I pointed to myself. "I chose to jump in front of Steve." Bucky dropped his head, biting his lip. "You couldn't get to me." Another tear fell down his cheek but I caught it with my thumb before it could fall. 

"But not because you didn't want to. It was because you truly couldn't." I lifted his head with my index finger. "I don't blame you. I never have and I never will."

"But I could've saved you."

I shook my head vigorously. "You couldn't of. Not then...I promise."

A long silence fell over us as he pulled me to him, both of our foreheads resting on each other. "I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. 

He lifted his head, holding my cheek tenderly in his hand. "I love you, Yn Carter."

Bucky picked me up, letting my legs wrap around his as he carried me to our room. It was late at night and the fireplace was crackling. We didn't care to turn the TV off or the lights. FRIDAY would take care of it anyways. 

He placed me down on the bed below him, pecking my face with soft kisses as I giggled. Smiling, he finally stopped, leaning down as his lips crashed into mine. Our mouths moved in sync as his hand softly rubbed my arm up and down. He reluctantly pulled back, laying down beside me and bringing my body into his. I felt his hard chest against my back as his face nuzzled into my neck. 

"Goodnight, Bucky."

"Goodnight, doll."

We both rested like that, falling into a blissful sleep, knowing we both had each other. And that's all that mattered. 

_

A/N: Hi! I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far and if you've seen the whole series on TikTok then I hope you liked the ending. 

I'm changing the cover to this book. I made it last year and it honestly looks like an 8-year-old made it so if you see it's changed that's the reason. 

Again, thank you for reading, and don't forget to vote and leave comments!! I love hearing what you guys have to think about the story.