Shattered or not? (Dean Ambrose)#wattys2015

Chapter 54

Continuation from the. Previous chapter

Throughout the whole car ride I tried talking to Dean but he wouldn't listen to me. He held onto the steering wheel really tight and would clench his jaw every now and then.

"Please talk to me." I said as we reached our home.

No answer. He just stays silent and doesn't leave the car. Then he does the unthinkable, he goes over me,opens my door and just looks the other way. I was surprise how mad he was but I wasn't going to give up. Instead of getting out of the car I just pulls his head to my side and kiss him hard. I have both my hands on his face to ensure he doesn't get away.

I feel him trying to get away and isn't kissing me back so I move my hands to his chest and start to rub him. He tightens himself since he's fighting with himself.

"Baby just kiss me. All I'm asking is for you to kiss me." I said moving to kiss all his face.

"No I can't forgive what you've been doing." He says .

"Let me explain is all. I promise youthat it will make a lot more sense if you let me." I said kissing his neck.

"Let's go inside where we can have a little more privacy." He says pulling away.

We go inside the house and go to the living room.

"Okay Mari tell me about what you need to tell me." He says.

"Look Dean I know your in shock about the drugs. I just had a weak moment as the sessions continued. I did hide the drugs but I had them when no one was in the house. I even risk taking them when Isa was in the house. Now that she is almost due I stop taking those you showed me. Back then I started taking the ones Sharon gave me. I immediatley recongnized the pills when she gave them to me. I knew I should have given them to her back the mintue I got them . I thought I could get over the addiction I had years ago but i guess it was still in me. I ever meant for it to go this far. I was trying to get over it but I couldn't. Hiding them from you and the kids seemed like the ideal thing but it wasn't. I'm sorry for causing you pain and not being honest. Please forgive me. I love you and I can't lose someone the same way I lost..... I stopped myself from saying his name. The guy I had Isa with.

"Who did you lose?" Dean asked.

"Look it doesn't matter who it was but know I lost someone because of my addiction." I said.

"I can see who your talking about. He was your first love and father to your daughter." He says looking me in the eyes.

"Just know I was young and in love but now I have you and the kids. All of you mean the world to me. I failed you guys and feel so ashamed." I said crying now.

"Look Mari I hate the fact that you did this but know I love you. Your my life along with the kids. I would have understood i f you told me about your past with this. We coud have worked through it together. Mari you can't be hiding all the time. The reason we also wanted you to get help was so you could open up to anyone. I know what the doc thinks of you. I also agree on you continuing your sessions with her. I see she wants to help you but your blocking everyone out. Mari you may have done so.e progress but you still have trust issues." Dean says.

"No I don't. I know who I am and I'm not that isolatedperson anymore." I said annoyed.

"Mari look at you. The drugs are blinding you. Your not the same girl I loved. I fell in love with the girl who was confident and knew what he wanted. But thoughout this whole time your not putting you part.you've been lying to yourself all this time. I'm starting to think your not in love with me at all. I feel the kids took away your lifestyle. Mari either yout happy with what you have or your not." He says.