Shattered or not? (Dean Ambrose)#wattys2015

Chapter 68

Continuation from previous chapter

Walking back home seemed to had made me feel a little better. the whole Abby and Seth thing still has me confused. They have been doing all these things behind me way before I ever knew anything. Seth who claimed to have loved me was a scumbag. I feel for his I have been in love with you story. I was starting to feel things for him but my feelings for Dean were stronger. In just realized I left home without them knowing.

"Wait why should I care." A voice in my head said.

I was starting to hear voices inside me. I knew I shouldn't have been surprise of how the kids would act but knowing Dean was willing to quit for them just made me feel ashamed of myself. I care more about myself than them but why?

"You never had anyone love you before."

I love myself why can't I be happy?

"No one loves you. Its just me playing games with you."

"Get out I don't need you." I said yelling to myself. 

"You need me considering I'm the one who handles all your stuff."

"No I can do things without you. I don't need you at all."

"You'll come back to me. Like always . Take the pills and relax. You know you want them. No one is watching you take them."

No I made  a promise to stop and I have.

"Yeah not what I saw last week."

"Go away I don't need this."  

"Take them."

"No."

"It will get Dean back."

"He hates me like that. why would he do that?"

"He cares too much for you."

"No I won't give in."

"Your one your own now."

"Forget it."

"Better make the choice now before people think you insane."

I looked around me when I realize people were looking at me like I was crazy. I just walked away quickly and made it home. Through the windows I could see the ids and Dean happily playing together. They seemed to be fine without me. As I enter the door I just pass right through them. I really didn't care if they saw me or not.

Walking into my bedroom I heard the door close. I turn around to see dean. " What do you want?" I said harshly.

"don't be that way Mari. You know how worried we were about you?" He says.

"Yeah sure looked like you guys were worried when I passed by." I said laughing sarcastically.

"Baby look its not like that." He says.

"Save it I'll just leave you guys. I mean I guess as a mother I'll never be nothing but a failure and as a wife I guess I'll never be good enough for you" I said.

"Mari listen to me. your not a ...... I just cut him off by slapping him.

I really had no idea why I did that but I felt good somehow. I the just started to attack him and he grabbed my hands when he got his composer. He throws me on the bed and hovers over me with my hands pinned the side of my head.

"Mari your special to us okay. I as your husband have learned that your a certain way and I don't care. I'm in love with you and it'll never change. Get it through your head when I say I'm in it with you for life. No one and nothing will separate us. I love you too much and I know I hurt you but its the only way I can get you to listen to me and not do reckless things.  Baby stay with me." He says looking into my eyes.

 "Get off me. I hate you. I never loved you. your just a burden to me. Leave me alone." I yelled at him.

"No I'm not going to lose you again. Your the most important thing to me. I have never felt like this for anyone. Your my other half and I won't lose you to something so stupid as not deciding what you wanna do in life. We can make this decision together. I don't wanna pressure you into something anymore." He says kissing me.

"Your just sweet talking me so I do what you say. I am never ever gonna listen to you. I have my own life and I like it. This is the life I wanna live. All the excitement  is inside me when danger is close. You may not be that way anymore but I am. I like it." I said sadistically.

"Mari come back to me You worked so hard to be a good person. Don't fall for this again." He says.

"I don't want you near me or anything. I'm going back to work whether you like it or not." I said.

"No I'll make sure of it." He says kissing me roughly. 

" Don think this is going to work. " I said trying to push him off.

He tightens his grip on my hands and I gasp He enters my mouth with so much roughness that I decided to bite him so he would let go. I failed miserably. He thought it was to turn him on more which it did without it being my actually intention. I try moving him again but he was to strong. He moves his lips to my neck where I start to scream.

"He covers my mouth with on hand and has the other with both of mines. He starts to suck and lick my neck leaving bite marks all over. He then sucks on my sweet spot which causes me to moan. He was doing this so I give in. He then moves to my chest area. He lifts my short a little with his mouth. he kisses my stomach and more particularly where he kissed when I was carrying the kids.  I got the hint at what he was doing. He was trying to inpregnate me to ensure the baby will hold me back. He continues his routine and moves to my lips.

"If I can't hold you back I know something that will. "He says between kisses. 

I just stay still after he says that. He wants me so badly to stay. A new baby in the house. Scottie is still young and I have not paid much attention to him at all. I'm a bad mother who doesn't deserve to have kids at all. Why doesn't Dean want me to have this baby if he knows I always find a way to get my way and then I'll leave the baby behind like all my children.,

"Baby be good cause I want you and I to make love right now. Don 't hesitate to escape. I want you and I want you bad." He says moving his hands to my pants. He removes them quickly and then my short. He then removes everything else and slowly removes his. For some reason I couldn't move. I felt my body numbed. He enters me roughly and then slowly. He thrust and kisses me.  let him take over. I wasn't fighting back. He was winning. I started to kiss back and wrapped myself around him. I wanted this now. I wanted him. My problems from earlier are erased from my mind. My husband doesn't hate me. He loves me so much. I wanna be with him . I wanna be his only one. I wanna stay with him here forever .I wanna be with the kids. He can go back and I'll stay. I'll quit my job. Dean your winning. Your winning baby. 

I get lost in Dean and make sweet love with him. He makes me feel better. I don't think of anything anymore. I'll do as he says. Forget about everything else and stay with my kids. I'll escape those threats I have coming. Abby, Seth nor Kelsey will take away everything I have earned. My mind has it cleared and I won't fight back for now.

So what you guys think? Is Dean doing the right thing by getting Mari pregnant again? Is Mari gonna listen and do what he says or is she gonna rebel like always? What is gonna happen next? Please comment and vote.