Shattered or not? (Dean Ambrose)#wattys2015

Chapter 69

The next day

After last nights events I had made up my mind for now. Dean had convinced me about stay home this time around. I had called Stephanie to tell her she would need to look for another diva to take my place even though I had just started again. She didn't seemed to pleased with my decision but she understood. My mental health isn't at its normal level and it was best I do stay home and if I wanted to go back then I could later in the future.

"So baby you do know I leave tomorrow right?" Dean says from behind me.

No since when do you have to leave?" I asked. 

"I got asked to replace Paige at wizard con in Vegas.  I was gonna turn it down but they couldn't find anyone who could replace her or me .'He said.

"Dean your suppose to be here till next week. why all the sudden change?" I asked.

"Mai I have no choice I know I was gonna spend this time with the kids but I won't be able too." He said.

"So it was okay what we did last night. I actually called Stephanie to tell her o was leaving again. I turned down my opportunity. Why would you leave when we just go there?" I said.

"Mari what  I did last night with you was special like always okay. Look I won't do this again okay. I'll dedicate my time to all of you when  I decide to retire." He says.

"Well I don't see that happening anytime soon." I said.

"Look the kids are happy right now and if they see you all grump there gonna be mad at you again." He say attempting to hug me.

"Well I hate to break it to you but I was looking forward to this whole weekend, I was planning a family mini vacation. I wanted to seethe kids happy with all of us there.' I said.

" Mari we still can. I know I promise you a lot of things but I want you to know were gonna spend the day at an amusement park that just open." He said.

"You can all go ahead i'll  just stay home." I said.

"Don't be this way. I hate seeing you like this. I feel everytime we fight were always at our breaking point. I feel as if we continue this road we might just.....

"Don't you dare say it. Were not gonna be going down that road. Were gonna make it okay. We fight but its normal. Don't ever think about that ever again  hated the fact that I almost went through with it the first couple of times." I said.

 "Good thing we didn't or else we wouldn't have had the kids." He says.

" True but we seem to be so bipolar about many things. I don't like fighting over the smallest things everytime. I seem to get pissed off more than usual now  a days. " I said.

"Mari I think its time you do your therapy sessions again." He says.

"Dean we both know that Sharon isn't really helping me." I said.

"What don't I know." He asked. 

" For know I can't say anything unless i'm sure.  Just trust me on this. I trusted her but she seemed to know more bout me before you guys found her." I said. 

"Mari it must have been a coincidence." He said.

"Dean I need you to be honest and tell me how did you guys find her? "I asked.

" Right now is not the best time to tell you at all. " He said.

"So more lies like always. You and the kids thought it was best I go insane or something? "I said.

"No we would never do that." He says.

"Lies.  All of you think i'm really insane." I said.

"Baby relax right now. Don't over hyperlate yourself. Just relax right now. He says.

"Just leave. Tell the kids i'm not in the mood for an thing right now.' I said looking out the backyard.

"Don't make them hate you more than they do already." He says.

"So my own kids hate me huh. Well if they do then maybe I should just leave for good. Lets see how much they care if I left them like my parents did to me" I said.

" Mom dad?"

We both turn around to see the kids watching us argue We didn't realize that they had just arrived home from school.

"Are you guy arguing again." Mayra asked with tears

"No baby were just having a disagreement is all." Dean says going to hug her.

"No you know what we were fighting. It seems all of you guys want me to go insane so why don't I leave for good." I said harshly.

"Mom you need to relax. We don't wanna see you go through what you just did. we don't wanna do something we have been waiting on . We know your healthy but this behavior isn't normal anymore." Isa said.

"Well sorry I'm not he best mom. I think I just had you so young that I didn't develop well when I had you." I said with venom. 

" Mom why are you acting like this. She says .

 "You wanna know well let me tell you better yet let me show you." I said taking the pills out of my pocket.

They all had shocked faces and disappointment in them. All of them looked so scared to even say anything but at the moment I was not thinking of what I had just done. I just demonstrated top my kids that I am weak and not a fighter like I always said to be. 

"I'm......I just ran out the backyard not able to look at them. What I'm I doing.  All the sweet things last night with Dean all shattered. I guess I should just think about how to get rid of what is to come. I'm slowly breaking again. what am I going to do. nothing or no one can help me right now. Whatever comes my way right now i'll get through it like always.

So what you guys think. Sorry if its boring but I'm still building up for what's to come so hang on. Please comment and vote.