Displaced

Timber - Thirty-Nine

"We'll be back later, but you should sleep," I told Lara as I tucked her into bed. Without a clock it was hard to tell what time we needed to be making sure she was asleep by. There are only so many things that can be told by the sun and moon. I suppose if my ancestors did it, then I could learn how to as well over time.

She smiled up at me. "Okay, I sleep better with you here."

"I do too." And it wasn't a lie. I gave her a small smile before heading back out to the living room.

Chevelle had turned off the TV and never took her eyes off of me as I entered. I returned to my chair, leaning forward over my legs as I exhaled deeply.

She shifted on the couch. "What's wrong?"

"Outside of the obvious?"

"Outside of the obvious." She nodded.

Taking in another slow breath, I raised my gaze to meet hers. "I don't think we're ever going to be going home again."

"Paul said –"

"And I'm sure that we'll still be offered the opportunity, but what I mean to say is, I think they're trying to indoctrinate us into their ways. We won't want to leave by the time they're done with us."

She gasped. "Brainwashing us?"

I shrugged, hating that term. Brainwashing sounded so evil, you know? "Close enough to it."

"How is it possible for three days to feel like a lifetime already," she whispered, hugging her knees to her chest.

"Exactly," I said, equally as quiet as her. "It's only been three days, but it already seems like we haven't known much else. They've done a good job at keeping us so comfortable and complacent that we're already starting to adapt."

Human nature was good at that – adapting to survive. Maybe that's why it was easier for me to pretend like I was coping with the situation when I wasn't. Guilt filled me as I realized just how much I've lied to both Chevelle and Lara.

Swallowing, I moved to the couch to sit next to Chevelle. She gave me the "you have three heads" look again, but didn't say anything. Clearly, she had issues with trusting people she didn't know all too well. I do too, usually, but I trusted her, all because she didn't try to take advantage of me. Either she was a master manipulator, or she had to be a decent human being.

"I'm more scared than I want to admit," I mumbled, pulling my knees to me in an exact mirror image to how Chevelle was sitting. "Everything I've done has been to compensate for that fear. I told you I didn't want to be seen as defective. Going home again is just as important to me as it is you."

"You still think I'd let anything happen to you?" she asked.

I shook my head vigorously. "No, but I don't want anyone to go over your head because I did something so wrong that even you can't protect me. Let's just say I got a dose of reality on my jog, okay?"

"And that would be what?"

"I met a woman who made no effort to hide the fact that I was nothing but a sex toy to her." Saying it aloud made me want to take another shower. People like Rumor creeped me out a lot, and I'd met a good deal of them. However, on Earth there were laws in place to protect me from people like her. Not so much here on the Achlivan ship.

Chevelle frowned. "Because she's taken on the way of the Achlivans, is that what you mean?"

"I don't know if that's what is happening or not. Paul doesn't give off that impression. He said they believe in lifelong mating and she clearly doesn't," I said. "Man, it's weird to even think of this as mating and all that to begin with. That's so...archaic. We've progressed way beyond sex for babies in our society."

"Yeah, it's just all about having a good time and living it up while we're young." She rolled her eyes. "Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be a baby-making machine. I'm not even sure I ever want to have kids of my own. At the same time, you talk about how this woman is wanting to use you as her toy? How is that any different than what a lot of guys treat women as back home? Guys manipulate and mess with our heads just to get laid."

"Hey, now! That isn't true!"

She folded her arms in front of her, lips pursing. "Which is why we have movies glorifying man's quest to get laid, no matter who ends up getting hurt in the process. I saw that one you did a couple of years ago. The one where you ranked the girls based on hotness and how easy they were."

I winced. "Then you'll remember when my character fell in love and regretted ever being such a jerk. How it all came back to bite him." I closed my eyes for a moment. "I'm not saying I agree with our society's portrayal of sex either, but at least the act is coupled with some kind of emotion – even if it's a fleeting one. I'm not Mr. Innocent, but I'm not a manipulative man-slut either."

"I didn't mean to imply I thought you were," she mumbled. "The point is, you talk about how we've progressed as a society to go beyond thinking of sex as some kind of barbaric act, but I'm not sure I agree completely. It's all still the same, just in a different kind of shiny wrapping paper. Men still objectify women, women still believe they have to give themselves to a guy in order to keep him, and it's still all about being self-serving."

I laughed, I probably shouldn't have, but I laughed. "You are more cynical and jaded than I am. Who broke your heart?"

"No one."

"So you're telling me, you've never even been in love?" I raised an eyebrow. Whatever she was about to say next, had to be good.

But she didn't say anything. She shook her head.

I waited until she was looking at me again before speaking. "When you fall in love, you'll understand the difference between giving yourself to someone completely and acting out of carnal desires. I can honestly say, I've never slept with a girl unless I thought I loved her. There aren't that many notches on my belt." Her eyes went wide, as if she couldn't believe I was admitting all of this to her. Truth was, I couldn't believe it either, but if we were going to trust each other, we needed to be transparent. She needed to know who I was just as much as I needed to know her.

Taking in a deep breath, I continued. "There have been two girls I've ever loved, okay? A lot of girlfriends, but two loves. We aren't all scum, not even where I come from. When you feel the high of desire, and how great it is to be desired back, you'll understand."

"Wicken thinks he loves me," she said softly.

Interesting. "And what do you think of him?"

"I don't know."

"Enough to save him, though."

She bit her lip. "Yes." With a shaking hand, she grabbed my forearm. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have belittled you like I did. I suppose I just thought of it as an interesting bit of karma. Not against you, but toward men in general. But don't worry. If this woman even breathes on you wrong, I'll be kicking her butt."

"I appreciate that." I chuckled. "What worries me most about it is I don't think she'd be like that if she wasn't here."

"Messed up people are always messed up under any setting," Chevelle said. "Certain situations just bring it out better than others. She was crazy before she got here."

She might have been right, but it was hard to say. Obviously, I didn't know Rumor before she arrived on the ship. All I knew was that for some reason the Achlivans gave her a license to be a witch.

I pulled my arm away from her grasp and adjusted it so that I could hold her hand with my own. "They aren't going to change me. I'm not going to let them change you either. We are going to hold on to who we are, and to our way of life. I promise."