Displaced

Chevelle - Fifteen

Passing time in our apartment was hard. I didn't want to turn on the TV again because the temptation to watch more of the news was great. Not to mention more surveillance footage. The thing was, with Lara with us, I didn't feel like it was appropriate. Everything going on was kind of like a big purple elephant in the room. I'm sure not talking about everything was just as psychologically damaging as watching would be. At the same time, it didn't feel right to push the conversation. Lara seemed fine. If I had to put money on who would break down next, it would be Timber, not her.

Which was another reason to keep the TV off. His face was probably everywhere. After all, he was most likely the highest profile person taken by the Achlivans. He didn't need to see people talking about him like he'd died or something. Nobody did. The more time I spent with him, the more I saw how human he was and not some kind of sexy robot designed by Hollywood to milk poor teenagers of their allowance money. Plus there was the off-chance he'd see his parents, his friends, his girlfriend, all being interviewed about him. If I saw my mom grieving my loss, I honestly don't know what I'd do. Those kinds of things could push anyone over the edge.

I didn't want to lose Timber.

He was entitled to having his meltdown just like everyone else, but if he decided to get suicidal on me? Scary.

Unfortunately, there wasn't much to do in the apartment. The books that had been on the shelves were fewer than what I remembered seeing the night before. Most were old classics or trashy romance novels. Actually, more trashy romances than classics come to think of it. Maybe it was the Achlivans way of trying to get us in the mood without flat-out shoving porn under our noses. Yuck, but I guess I could have been left with worse.

There were some video games too. Old ones that I remember playing with my brother when we were little. The kind that had the cheap 8-bit cartoon characters and side-scrolling fun. But I wasn't quite in the mood to play games. I felt lost, and part of that had to do with not having anything purposeful to do. Yes, I had to find Wicken, but that was one of those tasks that was so overwhelming to think about I didn't even know where to begin. And after I found him, then what? We run away, or try to, and fail? Everything seemed so big, and I was so small. I always knew I was an ant wandering the planet, but it kind of sucked to have it confirmed. Nobody wants to be insignificant.

Timber was just as restless as I was because he'd pick up a book, read, stop, act like he was going to start doing something with the TV and then stop that before he even turned it on, and then go back to the kitchen. The guy was going to lose his six pack if he kept eating all of the time.

"Can I go play?" Lara asked after an hour or two went by. At least she had some ideas.

"Sure," Timber said with a nod. "But come back if you're going to go anywhere else."

I wonder if he was relieved as I was to have her go. We both watched her take our balcony elevator down to the park floor, a place I still hadn't seen and wanted to. I didn't have any desire to go with her, even though I probably should have.

"She'll be okay on her own, right?" I asked, hating the weight of the responsibility on my shoulders.

Timber shrugged. "I would guess so. It's pretty utopian out there. We can follow if you really want to, but I figure...they're watching our every move, you know? Paul was saying how the children are more precious than the women. And she needs to be with other people her own age. There's going to be school for her soon. Once we're settled in." He sighed. "Give her a few minutes on her own and then we can get out and check on her. Being cooped up in here isn't going to do us any good. You still need the grand tour. Besides, didn't you want to talk to Paul about Wicken, anyway?"

"I did," I said. But I was terrified to ask, not sure I wanted to know where that conversation was going to go.

"So get ready for a day outside, and we'll make it happen. Because I want to know too. I want to know a lot of things."

"Like what's next?"

He smiled at me. "Exactly."