Displaced

Chevelle - Fifty-Six

I spent most of my time at group listening rather than talking. What did I have to say? I lucked out and got paired with a super-hot, super-sensitive, former celebrity? Boo-hoo me. Never mind that I missed my mother and brother something fierce, and my crush...thing...was an Undesirable. Oh, and all of the Rumor drama, which was something I could never ever share with anyone. I don't think? The other girls seemed trustworthy enough. They sure were sweet, if not on the meek side.

Their gentleness was refreshing, however. Yes, Timber was gentle too, but Rumor and her minions were hard and so were so many of the regular people I'd met who'd been on the ship for a while. A defense mechanism maybe? They missed home so they decided to be a bunch of monsters? Or perhaps they were so bent on making a new life for themselves it made them more aggressive. It was just too hard to say, and I'm the furthest thing from a psychologist.

Our leader, Brandi, gazed at me as she took notes on what another girl was saying. I must have been fascinating, because she did this all the time it seemed.

"I think Andy and I have finally reached an understanding," Delia concluded her latest installment of her soap opera life. I felt for the girl. Each session was filled with a plethora of problems, and I could tell she was the type of person who loathed drama of all kinds. To put it bluntly, Andy was an idiot. He didn't physically do anything to her, but he said a lot of crap that was pretty bogus. She needed the therapy a whole lot more than I did with all of his snide comments about her weight and just the fact that she was a girl in general. I would have kicked him to the curb a long time ago.

Brandi offered a small smile. "Do you think he is finally accepting his fate?"

"I'm not sure, but I stood up for myself like you said. Boy, was he surprised! I think that's how he gained respect for me at last."

"I'm proud of you," I said, honestly. Delia was a woman I could be friends with. She was normal, a little on the heavier side instead of a stick, two years older than me so we were close in age, and had blue and black hair which meant she had personality. The only thing keeping me from reaching out to her further was the fact that I didn't want to get involved with her drama with Andy. Not because it was too much, but rather because any suggestions I gave her would only make things worse. I sucked at giving advice.

Brandi fixed her gaze on me again and cracked a smile. "She speaks."

"I talk!" I laughed.

"Not a whole lot. What about you? Anything to share?"

"Timber has been great, like usual."

"Do you think it's because he's scared? Any time I hear only great things about companions, I worry about him more than the woman."

I rolled my eyes. "He's said he's scared. He's also just a good guy. If anything, he's annoyingly perfect. I tell him to relax and he decides to push himself harder. When I back off, he chills out. He's integrating a lot better than I am."

"Have you made any friends beyond him?" Brandi asked.

"No, but that's more for his sake than my own. I'm not sure I want to get too attached either. Not until I officially decide if I'm staying. He seemed to have made a choice. I'm torn." I rubbed at my arms. None of them knew he was famous. Fans were unpredictable. "No offense to anyone, it's just...complicated." And that was probably saying too much.

Delia laughed. "Queen of complicated, here. I understand, trust me. But it does feel good to get it out. You know we're safe."

"Not even the Achlivans watch our sessions," Brandi reminded me.

My gaze wandered over the group. Over the course of the few weeks I'd been attending, the numbers had dwindled significantly. When I first started, there were ten other woman of various ages. Including myself, there were now three of us. Delia, Zoe, me. I didn't count Brandi since she was the therapist.

"There's another guy we were captured with, someone I've known for a while. The only thing is, he got put with the Undesirables. He's not a bad guy, and doesn't deserve to be wherever he's being kept. Anyway, I've been given the opportunity to change companions and save him. But I heard the Undesirables aren't allowed to leave the ship. Ever." My words flew out of my mouth and I felt the biggest weight lift from my shoulders.

Delia's jaw dropped. "Yeah, that's complicated."

"It gets worse. If I give up Timber, something bad could happen to him. There's a way around it, but then he might lose his chance to go home too. I'm not God. I don't want their lives in my hands."

"You've been carrying this for a long time," Brandi said. "What you heard about Undesirables is true, they aren't allowed to leave. Even when we arrive at Sanctuary, they will be confined to the ship, though some can be moved to the Garden once they've proven themselves worthy."

"If he were bad, I'd understand, but he's not." Poor Wicken, my heart broke in two. One half yearned for him and his safety, and the other anguished over the sacrifice I would have to make to ensure he was protected. It was deeper than Timber and Wicken and my feelings for both. My chance at freedom rested on if I decided to save a guy I had confused feelings for. Such a sacrifice was something belonging to true, deep, unconditional love. Did I love Wicken that much?

Brandi put a hand on my arm, ever so gently. "It's a lot to understand and take in. You can go see him, you know. Your friend, I mean."

"We met up again on the Roof while he was working. It didn't go all too well, though. He got jealous of Timber and lashed out. He might not be allowed up here anymore."

"That's a shame. The Roof rehabilitation program is the best opportunity for him to leave the Pit."

"The where?"

"It's where the Undesirables live. The good news is you can still see him. You'll simply have to go to him instead."

I clapped my hands together. Stupid and girlie, I know. Oh. Em. Gee. I could go to him? That was worth a squee in my mind. "Really?"

"It's a secret, not something the Achlivans want to broadcast. However, there is no rule saying Surface dwellers aren't allowed in the Pit. There are two doors there. One at the lagoon and the other on the Roof. You'll get a pass from the Achlivan guard on duty, a little grief, and be allowed through." Brandi's smile widened. "If you talk to him, you can decide if you want to pursue a courtship. Then he can come and go to visit you here."

"How do you know all of this?" I asked.

Brandi laughed. "I was once an Undesirable. My husband found me in a stroke of luck because he dared to wander into the Pit to see what it was like. That was when he learned the rule. The Surface can visit the Pit, but not the other way around. We courted and the rest is history."

Delia sighed. "This is so romantic!"

Definitely, but it seemed too good to be true. Romantic? Me? Never in a million years would I have thought such a thing possible. I wasn't lucky enough for romance, until now.