my two friends that love me | quackity/dream love triangle fanfiction

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT (I DON'T LOVE YOU)

I take a shaky breath as I sit outside my own apartment building. I'm still wearing the same sweatshirt I wore to Alex's earlier today.

Clay walks up to the curb. "Jac? Are you okay?"

I glance up to see him in his nice outfit, ready for dinner. It makes me sad for what I'm about to do.

I stand up on the curb to level myself with him. His eyes are clouded with worry. I take a deep breath to prepare myself.

"I'm calling it off," I say quietly.

"Calling what off?" Clay furrows his brows.

"Whatever this is." I gesture between us. "I can't do this to you or Alex anymore, so I'm calling the whole thing off."

Clay blinks for a few seconds before his eyes focus on mine again.

"No."

I laugh a little. "What?"

"You can't call it off," he says,. "I'm not giving up that quickly."

I shake my head. "This isn't normal; it's not healthy."

"I don't care, Jac." Clay stands firm in his choice. "I'm not giving up on us."

I stand firm in my own as well. "I'm letting you go."

I start to turn, but Clay catches my wrist. I glance back and make eye contact.

"Truth or dare?" he asks.

I roll my eyes. "Clay, you're being ridiculous-"

"Trust me, Jac."

I sigh. "Dare."

He smiles at my response. "I dare you to stay for two minutes and hear me out."

I face him completely and nod. "Okay, continue."

"I'll let you do whatever you think is best if you can look me in the eyes and say you don't love me," he says, "Say that you love him or neither or us. Tell me that you've thought about it long and hard, and I'm just not an option." He takes a deep breath. "And once I can hear you say that, then I'll let you call it off."

I focus my eyes on the floor. Love. What a funny word. It means many different things to everyone.

I used to think that I was in love with Alex, but I don't that strong of a word applies to him anymore. Something from that is missing, and I think it has for a while.

But love in reference to Clay is different. Everything with Clay is so easy. Clay was so exciting and different, but then he became so calming and homey. I find myself wanting to call him all the time. I wanted my family to like him as much as I did. I wanted them to love him.

But I can't do this to him. I can't put him through all this stress.

All I have to do is say that I don't love him; that's all he's asking me to do.

I take a deep breath and meet his eyes. They're the same muddy green eyes that met mine at the wedding so many months ago, except they have a different glint on them now in the moonlight.

At one point, Clay and I had a conversation about love being an overrated waste. Clay said it left you emptied and destroyed in the end. I remember asking if he thought it was worth it.

Well here I am, feeling empty and destroyed from my heart pulling in so many different directions.

All I have to say is that I don't love him, or I love Alex, or I love neither of them.

I open my mouth to say it, and I just can't.

He raises his brows, expecting me to tell him I don't love him.

I look back at my shoes. "I can't," I whisper so quietly there was no humanly way he could've heard it..

"Jac?" he asks quietly.

I meet his eyes again with a shaky breath. "I can't, Clay. I can't because I am madly in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me."

A smile lights up his face, and he takes a step forward. He brings his lips only inches from mine before pausing, asking for permission.

I called everything off, so there's no more rules. He's allowed to kiss me.

And when he does, that emptiness from before feels full. That feeling of being destroyed seems to be stitched right up by Clay's delicate touch. And every single bit of it is worth it.

Maybe love isn't an overrated waste, or maybe it is. Maybe the overrated wasted parts are from the wrong love. Maybe it takes the right love to make you have those feelings all the movies talk about. Because that's the love that makes the pain completely worth it.

We pull away to catch our breath. Clay brings his forehead to mine. "I love you, Jac. I love you so, so much."

"I love you, too."

(THE END]