The Outsiders Stuff :)

Jally

Johnny

I laid back in Dallas' bed awkwardly. I curled into a ball and focused on the white noise coming from Dal's shower. Eventually, that noise stopped. I heard metal rings scrape against a rod and do it again. After that, Dallas stepped out of the bathroom.

I looked up at him and blushed furiously. He had a white towel hanging loosely off his hips, water droplets rolled down his body, and his hair clung to his forehead. Dallas grinned at me. He dropped his towel and pulled his boxers on. I looked away.
I rolled over into Dallas' bed towards the wall so I didn't have to look at him, in his half naked glory. Damn, was he good looking.

Only a few months ago I had discovered that I liked him. A boy liking a boy? It was wrong. At least that's what everyone says. It's wrong. It's gross. It's immoral.
I can't help myself when it comes to him. I always find myself looking at him, staring into his eyes, wanting his lips to be on mine. My mind created scenarios every night of what a world where boys liking boys would be accepted. A world where I only had to worry about Dallas liking me back. A world where I didn't have to worry about the possibility of someone finding out I like guys and being killed.
"Johnny? You okay?" Dal's cold hand landed on my warm shoulders and made me nearly jump out of my skin. "Jeez John, I ain't gonna hurt ya!" Dal chuckled a bit. I wanted to hear him laugh and chuckle everyday. I want to see him smile everyday, but only at me. I get jealous every time he brings up the new broad he's fucking, the new girl he's fixated on. I want that to be me. I want him to only look at me.

No one else.

"Yeah I know. Sorry." I apologized, but I don't know what for. Dal's hand pushed my shoulder a bit, signaling that he wanted me to turn towards him. I roll onto my back and look into his eyes. His body sank down onto the mattress and he hovered over me slightly. "I don't want you livin' in that house or the lot anymore, understand? It ain't good for you man." Dallas pulled a cigarette off his bedside table, put it in his mouth, and lit it. Smoke blower out of the corners of his mouth. "Why? I ain't got nowhere else to go except for the Curtis' or Two's and I don't wanna bother them." I propped myself up onto my elbows and gave Dal a look. My eyes, they probably looked as hopeless as ever. Dallas sighed, more smoke blowing out. He said something barely above his breath that I almost didn't catch. "You can stay with me..."

I gasped a little bit. "Really Dal? You sure you want me staying with you? I don't wanna be a bother or-" Dallas cut me off.
"Shut it kid. You don't bother me none so shut your mouth, man!" He looked angrily at me.

I didn't want him to be angry.

I don't like when Dal's angry. He scares me when he's like that. I don't like making him angry, it makes me sad.

"Sorry Dal." I moved away from him a little bit.

Dallas sighed yet again and squeezed his eyes shut. "Sorry Johnny. I didn't mean to get upset. I'm just tryna say, you ain't a burden or anything. You don't bother anyone."

I don't?

But I always thought I bothered everyone...

"You sure I don't? I just kind of sit there, quiet... not saying anything. I probably creep some people out or annoy some people. I don't really have opinions on anything, my parents... they don't like me. They find me annoying. So how can anyone like me if my own parents don't like me?" God. I haven't spoken to anyone like this in a long time. It's pathetic. Maybe I should stop living in my own self pity.

I laughed a little bit to cover up how pathetic it is.

Dallas' hand shot out and for a second, I thought he was gonna hit me. I probably deserve it. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the hit.
A cold hand touched my cheek. He's gonna hit me... he's gonna hit me... I should've kept my mouth shut... why am I not feeling anything?
I opened my eyes. Dallas was holding my face. "I thought you were gonna hit me... why aren't you-" and then it kind of clicked.
Dallas would never hurt me. He loved me too much to hurt me.
"Johnny man, I love you. Forget about your parents man. You don't need 'em."

Dallas leaned in and hugged me.

My body felt warm, like my whole body is blushing. His hug is so warm. It's comforting.
No one's ever touched me like this. Not this gentle. Not this warm. Fuck.
"Dal..." I want more of it. More warmth. More comfort. More gentleness.
"Have you ever kissed anyone, Johnny?" Dallas
asked all of a sudden. I pulled away from the hug, my eyes wide. Why would he ask me that? My body completely disconnected from his. I stared.
Dallas' face twisted into something I couldn't quite make out. An expression I've never seen on his face. Fear? Worry? Regret?
I think it's all of them.
"J-Johnny, sorry, that was out of line-"

"No." I cut him short. I grabbed his face and shut him up. I stared deeply into his eyes. Why'd he ask me that? Why'd he get upset when I pulled away? Maybe... maybe...
I leaned in close to him, our lips nearly brushing together. I hesitated for a second. Is it a good idea to do this? I know he won't hurt me but what if I ruin our friendship? What if he doesn't like me back? I guess I'll find out...
I pushed my lips against his without another thought and waited for some form of retaliation. Some sort of, "you're gay? That's fucking disgusting."
Thankfully, that never came.

He kissed back.

He ACTUALLY kissed me back.

Does that mean he likes me back? I think so. I HOPE so.
Dallas' hand went to my waist and tightly grasped it. He pulled me onto his lap.

We kissed for what felt like forever. Seconds? Hours? Years? I couldn't tell. I didn't want it to stop though. I liked the way he held me so gently. I like the way his awfully soft lips move roughly against mine. It felt good. I wanted him to touch me more, but I don't wanna freak him out.
Dallas pulled away and I hadn't realized I was running out of air.
I was panting, gasping, trying to catch my breath. I pulled Dal back in, deeper this time. His tongue pressed against my bottom lip, asking me to open my mouth. Just to tease, I didn't and smirked a bit.
Dallas' free hand shot up and wrapped around my neck harshly. I choked and gasped. He took this as a chance to shove his tongue in my mouth.

It felt a lot nicer than I thought. Damn is he good... his tongue explored every bit of my mouth, hitting every spot that made me let out a moan of delight.

It's strange to think about boys kissing boys but it felt right.

  We continued on for another while until we both felt like we couldn't. He pulled away and dragged me down to lay beside him.
  A small huff of air escaped him and his eyes closed gently. He nestled his head into the crook of my neck. "I love you, Johnny."

  Someone loves me.

  Love?

  It's a strange concept.

  It feels like being wrapped up with a warm blanket. It's nice.

  "I love you too, Dallas."