TW: Suicide, self-hate, depression, major character death.
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
He was in the middle of a mental breakdown no kidding, even if someone did walk past his door they wouldn't care about the constant repeating of him telling himself to 'suck it up'
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
He knew he added nothing to the country, all he was, had been land, people, and money, the others had made that clear. "California you're to this your too that, blah blah blah."
From you who are lovely, sad, and tripping over
The scent of suffering from death is present
You are modest, prudent, and bowing down
Uses the word "sorry" just as an excuse
His damn father and mother had been the same way, always making fun of him, then yelling because he didn't improve.
I had been careless from the beginning anyway
...Since before you, who I created, were born
Well, there are a lot of things that are disappointing
All sorts of things that are regrettable
He of course knew the world was fucked up, badly, but what could he do about it? Nothing. All he was, had been a mistake. And California couldn't take any more of the pain.
Slowly notice the vagueness
...This is definite, no matter where you go in this world
No, are things enough like this?
Or is it not to your liking?
If he died his land would be given to Arizona, Nevada, and Oregon, good they should be given land for having to hang by him this whole time.
The child of someone, the child of anyone
Were all born
If they lost their lottery ticket,
They would only have solitude and helplessness left
He'd learned the hard way to never fall in love, or even get too close, he knew the consequences, they'd leave him alone.
THIS IS LIFE (WOW)
Again...
Love for the worst victims
Love for the worst victims
Love for the worst victims
Love for the worst victims
I'd like to give you that love, but-
He knew if he left nobody would notice, at least not for a few days maybe even weeks, if he were lucky.
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
He then heard a knock at his door, before it was opened by an annoyed Oregon, he clearly faked being worried, he didn't care if he did he would've admitted to being his friend.
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
After he left he knew he needed to get out of the house so he grabbed a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of liquor, and a lighter, he didn't drink much but this was his break.
From you, who's abusing me so noisily and dramatically
There's poverty spilling out
You, who helplessly draw the attention of the poor guests
Are at your limit, right? This is human world
He walked outside not caring about the hat he usually dawned and getting a few stars but nobody said anything, of course, they didn't.
Why is this child so bitter?
...Or is it because that child's heart is filled with envy?
Well everyone's the same
The brain of theirs is rotten
He felt followed as he walked to the bridge but the place was beautiful and if they followed him then he was fine with it, he didn't care.
Quietly mourn the lot you've drawn
That your logic has made you believe was fate
It's got nothing to do with me anymore
The welcome party of your perfected birth
As he approached the railing he climbed on it and sat down, lighting a cigarette, and placing it in his mouth, he knew it wasn't healthy but once again he didn't care, he'd go as far to say he was so alone without anyone to care he didn't either.
The flies that swarm, the tortoises that come together
Show no sympathy
The expression on my smiling face
Is so, very, very miserable
He heard a sigh of relief and then the person turned and left he didn't care to look at them they wouldn't see him soon anyhow.
This is life (WOW)
The sun was setting and he felt it was a good time to drink so he popped open the liquor and pressed the strong alcohol to his lips.
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
SUCK IT UP
He drank more than he thought then he realized it was too late and it was too dark, so he opened his phone but turned it off.
Why did you make this?
Why did you only decide to stop your prank now?
Why did you let this child be born?
Why in the world did you let this child be born?
He thought about sending a goodbye to the others but they wouldn't miss him, and he didn't want lies asking him to stay if they cared a bit they would've talked to him more, right?
Romance for the empty shell of love
A personality for the embers of innocence
Regret for the body of a servant
Hope for the best parts of the rest of your life
He fell in love and vowed to never tell who it was after all they were "enemies" and enemies couldn't fall for each other just as he did.
An end for the wishes of a slave
Press your hands together to pray for the hanging corpse
Darkness for the eternity of the soul
Love for the worst victims
Taking one last drink and snubbing out his cigarette he took one last breath held it and jumped.
(Love for the worst victims)
(Love for the worst victims)
(Love for the worst victims)
Love for the worst victims
He left out the breath while falling not needing to take another before the impact of the water and rocky bottom sent him into an unconscious world soon taking his life as well.
~~~A/N~~~
Deadass bouta cry right now, ALSO when I was typing how he'd fallen in love it auto corrected to 'cowboy' FUCKING READ MY MIND
but if you are struggling with suicide PLEASE get the help you deserve everyone deserves to be happy!
Anyhow, thank you @Shay201457 for the request!!
Let me know if you want a rewrite, sorry this took so long...
YOU ARE READING
Song-shots (Welcome to the statehouse)
Randomthis is just a whole bunch of song-one-shots bassed off of ben Brainard's Welcome 'To The Statehouse' requests are always open cause I suck at coming up with my own
