TW: implied trauma, mild panic attack, flinching, cursing, sexism,
"I shouldn't take things so serious
I don't think they mean any harm
But it would sicken you too
If it happened to you
And you had to relive every part"
California didn't know who but someone stated that men could do what they wanted especially with women because they were 'superior'. So he spoke up, and he was fuming.
Here come the flashbacks
And the panic attacks
How long does that shit last
He hid his past and hid his trauma, not even his brother remembered their past very well.
"I'm losing myself by the day see
And I know you all think that I'm crazy
That the demons that show up
At the foot of my bed"
"California what are you talking about?" Florida tried to interject but California ignored him.
"Are just figments from memories
That fucked up my head"
He didn't stop, no matter how many told him to, not until they understood.
"That night terrors ain't nothin
But a real bad dream
So quit being a God Damn drama queen"
he slammed his hands on the table getting everyone's attention
"I seal myself in a soundproof room
So no one can hear how loud I scream
But you don't think it's as bad as it seems
Cause you've never dealt with PTSD"
"California shut up, would ya no one cares about your ranting," said a half-attentive Oklahoma.
Frozen in your tracks
Take a visit to the past
To see the devil's dirty deed
Leave a mark all down your back
He paused and glared at him with a look of pure hatred, one that stunned everyone.
"I can't even be around cigarettes
You know how many people smoke?
Approximately one billion
And just about everybody I know"
He turned from Oklahoma to New Jersey which was trying to hide his cigarette.
"You think you know but you don't
When someone's broke you can't just heavy sigh
And roll your eyes
Like if they ain't physically ill
Then they must be a liar"
He turned to the original state who made the first comment and he wasn't surprised to be looking at Arkansas.
"But wouldn't you recede to the fire
If everything around you became a threat
And everyone surrounding you said
GET OVER IT
It becomes unbearable to live in"
He turned away from him not standing to look at him, and turned to Gov who was wide-eyed, he quickly coughed and went back to his monotone expression.
"So listen
Triggers are relentless
They ain't gonna quit
They don't go away just cause you don't
Believe it"
He proved this by clapping loudly in front of Texas' face to which he flinched and braced for a slap.
Reliving each nightmare on an everyday basis
I don't think I can do this
I don't think I can take this"
He knew that even if he was largely disliked by everyone they would still understand that you can't do what you please there are limits!
Frozen in your tracks
Take a visit to the past
To see the devil's dirty deed
Leave a mark all down your back
He teared up and breathing became quicker as he remembered that night, quickly calming himself down.
Frozen in your tracks
Take a visit to the past
To see the devil's dirty deed
Leave a mark all down your back
he wiped his eyes and watched his breathing before continuing. He had long since learned how to calm down from a panic attack with barely anyone noticing.
"You sent my mind on fire
Sparks flying I'm rewired"
He directed this toward Gov
"You left me no desire
Broken and uninspired"
Oregon was the only one who knew how to hurt California this way
"I feel you all conspire
Left all alone with liars"
he gestured towards everyone, no one here was honest.
"Hopeless so I get higher
And higher till I'm tired"
he pulled out his own v@pe and threw it on the table, trying to prove a point.
"And there's no reminder
Of what I'm crying for"
He could only hope people knew what he meant, which he knew wasn't many.
"Cause I can't fucking do this anymore"
He hit his chair turned around, Pacing.
Frozen in your tracks
Take a visit to the past
Repay the devil's dirty deed
With a gash all down his back
he hid his tears in front of people, he was already seen as annoying and such, he couldn't be seen as a baby too.
"You set my mind on fire
Sparks flying I'm rewired"
Rage and pain plastered on his face as he looked around the table.
"You left me no desire
Broken and uninspired"
He ran a hand through his hair pushing off his beanie but he couldn't care less.
"Hopeless so I get higher
And higher till I'm tired"
He puffed his v@pe putting it back in his pocket.
"And there is no reminder
Of what I'm crying for"
He tossed a file towards Gov and left leaving his secession papers behind. He was done with them all.
"I can't do this anymore
What am I even fighting for?"
He paused at the door, this was his last straw.
~~~|A/N|~~~
Gutten tag!
(German for Good day)
I have no idea what this is but oh well, I'm simply trying to post enough and put effort into each chapter all while juggling lots of other things but I couldn't be happier writing!
Eat some food and drink some water! You deserve it!
Bye-Bye!
YOU ARE READING
Song-shots (Welcome to the statehouse)
Randomthis is just a whole bunch of song-one-shots bassed off of ben Brainard's Welcome 'To The Statehouse' requests are always open cause I suck at coming up with my own
