Imperfect | est. 2015

28. Things Change

The complicated description between the triangle of Connor, Addison and I was disfunctional.
Addison had obvious feelings for Connor-- I could see it in her drawing dependency to him. I had no clue what Connor was feeling, but he wasn't into Addison that way. Not only that-- I had feelings for no one.
At least none that I was aware of.

That's what was going through my head on the walk past the thin bridge on the pond.

I had to clear my mind from Grams and think of something I hadn't focussed on in a while. But, God, if I could just drop everything and make that my only worry in life, things would be so much easier.

It wasn't even a major concern that Addison had feelings for Connor.
What threw me off, is Connor would hint that he has feelings for someone but I could never tell if he was just hiding a secret amount of them for Addison or if it was to some mystery girl at school.
But for whatever it was, he refused to tell me.

"Hey," he bumps into my shoulder, "whatcha' thinking about?"

I lifted my eyes from my feet and continued to drag them across the concrete, "I'm trying not to think is the thing."

He tilted his brow and looked back up at the way we were walking. He pauses before he responded to me, "Then let's talk about something stupid."

"What will that do?" I chuckled lightly.

"Get your mind off of things." He says, randomly patting dust off his pants.

I waited for a subject to climb into the conversation but there was nothing I could so easily come up with.
But Connor was good at that, "Why don't you ever wear dresses?" He asked out of the blue.

And I didn't realize that this new topic would be spotlighting me.
I giggled a little, lifting my shoulders, "I'm just not the dressy type."

He rolled his eyes, "I don't think I've ever even seen you in a dress... I've known you since kindergarten and you managed to completely avoid the occasions?"

I purse my lips, "Basically."

He seemed playfully frustrated, "Well, what about senior prom? Will you be going to that?"

"Of coarse... but I might just be the only girl there in jeans and sneakers."

He rolled his eyes with a grin, "You've gotta wear a dress to prom."

"Says who?"

"Says me." He argued like a kid and swayed on his heels.

I must've lost count of how many times I've childishly shrugged at something he said, "What's the point if I won't even have a date to it?"

"Who says you won't have a date?" He asks.

"Says me." I chuckled.

He lifts an eyebrow at me again, only because I mocked him.

Then his eyes dart back to his path, "Well, you have months to find one. But either way-- you're going and you're wearing a dress."

I squint up at his manipulative face. He must've had some kind of mad skill for convincing people to think a certain way, "You frustrate me." I joked.

"But I always win." He smirked.

And out of the moment while we both gave each other a fake death-glare.
Connor continued to repeatedly glance down at my feet then back into my eyes.
And I was worried to know what kind of dumb thing he was planning to do.

Until, before I could dodge anything, he was stealthy enough to reach down at my knees and throw me completely off balance. I squealed and could do nothing but grip into his t-shirt. We both laughed while he continued to nearly stumble into the pond. He spun in circles just so it would be more and more impossible for me to escape.

"If you drop me, I will shave your head."

He stopped spinning, abruptly and over-dramatically, "You would never."

My head spun in the dizziness and hilarity, "Don't doubt me."

He chuckled for a brief moment, "Well then I guess I just won't drop you." And he continued to laugh and spin me around on his shoulder.

I screamed every time he misplaced his foot and nearly toppled to one side.

And it felt like an endless amounts of loops and laughter.

"You can't stay on your feet forever. Eventually you'll fall over."

"Nope." He laughed every time I pretended to threaten him.

And just while that moment seemed to go on for long enough, he'd actually managed to catch the end off his shoe on a slanted part of the ground and have his ankle and leg collapse beneath him.

The both of us fell onto the grass-- nearly into the water-- and said nothing until we completely hit the ground.

I'd stumbled off his shoulder and landed on the cold grass on my side, then rolled over to my back.

And he was laughing hysterically on his knees.

I sat up, still shocked that I had to fall from almost six feet off the ground. And I gave him a look of annoyed memorization, "Say goodbye to your hair."

He faked a panic and set both his palms on top of his head, "Noooo." He whined like a child.

I had to admit.
That night, without the intense light from the sun and only the blue lining around everything. And with the moon being brighter than I'd ever seen it before. And while everything was about 68 degrees and perfect-- I was enjoying the moment.

And not only that.
things looked different.
my hands looked different.
the sky looked different.
the light on the pond looked different.

Connor looked different.

And I couldn't help but stare at him for a moment.
While he was childishly hiding his face in his hands and tousling his own hair around.

His skin was clear and tan and his dimples and smile topped everything off.
Even with intentionally messy hair, he didn't look bad at all. It was actually rather attractive.
And the way he was trying so hard not to laugh again, made him look like he was enjoying the moment just as much as I was.

Just an hour ago, I thought I would be lying on the ground and staring at everything like it was nothing.

But all it took was my clumsy, immature yet wise best friend.
That's all I really needed.