Imperfect | est. 2015

38. Forgotten

I didn't know why it was bothering me so much.
I knew he would tell me eventually.
But there was something in my head telling me that he wouldn't.

When we'd gotten to Raymond, a small town in Washington, I tried my best to wake Addison from her repetitive napping.
Connor had hardly said a word to me since we left off at the last topic. So I just spent the next amount of time staring out the window.

I tried to get my mind off of things, but it was all I could think about.

And when Addison had woken up just before we pulled into the hotel parking lot, I sat up straighten, "Oh, she's alive." I joked and saw her struggle to open her eyes.
She slowly tried to stretch her arms out but failed to find enough space in the car, "How long was I asleep?"

"Long enough," I said, briefly, not wanting to do the math, "that's the hotel, right there." I said, pointing at it.

She took a second to examine it. It was actually fancier than we'd expected it to be.
Connor sighed when he parked the truck in a random slot of the hotel and he slipped his wallet from where he'd had it in the glove box.

"Did you already call and make the reservations?" Addison yawned and continued to stretch out as much as she could.

"Yup." Connor muttered.

He didn't seem upset. He just seemed tired.
But I couldn't clearly tell.

And I just watched him muffle through his wallet for his card.

"Welp, I'm gonna get my suitcase." I said, trying my best not to yawn while I swung myself out of the car and attempted not to dump everything out of the back seat and onto the concrete.

and Addison followed, "How far is the beach from here?"

And I shrugged, holding one of the suitcases back while I slid my own out from underneath it, "About an hour drive. Maybe longer."

And she nodded, "Does the room only have one bed?"

"I think so," Connor answered, jumping out of the driver's seat, "I can sleep on the floor, though."

And Addison scoffed, "No, don't sleep on the floor."

And he shrugged as if it was nothing when he came around to grab his bag, "It's fine."

"I'm not letting you sleep on the floor. It's not a big deal if we just share the bed. The beds are huge."

And that's when Connor and I exchanged some sort of awkward eye contact. I knew Addison would have no issue with being that close to Connor, and I wouldn't have before... but now... I don't know, it sounded like a strange idea.

But it wasn't something I could really avoid. I wouldn't want Connor to sleep on the floor simply because I'm too stubborn to forget something that happened.

And when he'd stared at me long enough, he cleared his throat and turned on his heels towards the front door of the hotel, "It's late. When we get to the room, I'm probably going to be out like a light."

And I laughed, weakly.

I hated how awkward things were now. I don't even know if awkward was the right word for it. But everything he said and everything he did, sounded and felt different. I couldn't even make eye contact with my best friend anymore. Why couldn't the both of us just drop it and forget it ever happened? Why did it even matter? I've hugged him a million times and been close enough to his face that I could smell his breath, this wasn't very different... but it was at the same time.

At that point, I was just lost in my own thought.

-

As soon as we got out of the elevator to get to the third floor, Connor starting breathing again. Simply because he couldn't when he was standing in the packed and claustrophobic environment that he was still mildly terrified of. I had to admit, he was getting better at handling it.

Addison seemed rather attached to Connor the whole night, but it didn't surprise me.
I just let it happen.
Although, there was a jealous knot in stomach about he whole thing.
I didn't understand why I felt so different around him lately. I get it, we made a dumb mistake-- but I didn't understand why either of us couldn't just drop it-- especially him.

When we stepped into the hotel room, the first thing I did was throw myself in the middle of the bed and curl up into a ball. I didn't even settle into the room first and set my bag into a corner. I just dropped my suitcase onto the floor and hid my face in a pillow.

"Goodnight!" I giggled and adjusted only a little.

Connor chuckled and sat his stuff down beside the bed. And Addison threw on a different sweatshirt in the corner of the room.

"You tired?" He asked me, standing with his arms folded. I could only hardly see him from the corner of my eye.

And I just pursed my lip and nodded.
I was in the strangest mood I'd been in a while.

And without giving any warning, he just threw himself beside me and lied on his back.
And Addison sat down on the other side of me, brushing her hair out with her hands.

I didn't even need to give myself a second to get tired, I was already dozing off.

"When are we driving to the beach tomorrow?" I heard Addison ask, while I felt half conscious.

And Connor sighed, "Sometime after lunch. I don't feel like driving in the morning."

I must've said something else before I was completely out like I light-- because after that point, I didn't remember anything. I didn't want to be awake to find out how awkwardly Connor and Addison would adjust to how they would sleep on either side of me.
But I insisted on laying in between them.