CHAPTER 3

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MEMORY LANE

I closed my eyes as the plane began to ascend in the air. Much as I want to relax and sleep off the almost seventeen hours of my trip from Toronto to Manila, my mind just can't stop panicking that's making me restless. And it seems that no matter how luxurious of the business class seat I'm in, it won't be enough to make me feel comfortable for the rest of the flight.

After five years, here I am, on my way back to the place that I've been avoiding. Hindi ko naman kasi kayang tiisin ang nag-iisa kung kapatid. He's more important to me than my sentimental thoughts. Hindi kakayanin ng kunsensya ko na may masamang mangyari sa kanya samantalang natutulungan ko ang iba.

After all, wala narin naman akong pakialam sa mga nangyari noon, ni hindi na ako nakibalita o nagtangkang gumawa ng paraan para malaman kung ano na ang nangyari sa mga taong naiwan sa Pilipinas pagkatapos ng mga ginawa ko noon.

For the last five years, I forced myself to forget everything and made my days more productive than ever, I concentrated on how to become a better person and gain a reputation because I can no longer the 'come-what-may' Alexandria Gabrielle.

I needed to improve and be the best I can, for my son. For my Draco Alastaire Alonzo.

I smiled as I remember my little one. I woke up this morning with his shower of kisses all over my face. Inunahan talaga niya ako sa paggising upang siguruhing makikita niya ako sa aking pag-alis. He patiently waited for me hanggang sa makaligo at makapagbihis ako. He even asked every travel documents and personal necessities that I need if I have all those in my bag.

And one thing that I salute him best is, kahit gaano siya kalambing at ka clingy sa akin sa tuwing magkasama kami, he never throws a tantrum when it's already time for me to leave for a mission. Ang importante sa kanya ay makapagpaalam ako ng maayos, makita niya akong umalis and at the end of the day, magkakausap kami for him to know that I'm safe.

He's right when he said that he's not just a normal kid, because he's actually an extraordinary and tough kid that understands and supports my job. Sa kanya pa lang, I already feel fulfilled because I know that I taught him right. And I can see in him a very promising and excellent leader that will lead the agency someday. Someone who can do much better than I am today.

Being curious is natural to every child, but my Draco is not the kind who ask, he has a very critical and sharp thinking that instead of asking, he sorts out any possible means to satisfy and prove his curiosity, so from day one since I've started working in the agency, I've been transparent to him, kaya lubos akong nagpapasalamat ngayon dahil sa kanyang murang edad ay naiintindihan na niya ang lahat.

Seeing me carry various weapons whenever I go out is a normal sight to him, he even reminds me to go and practice in the sparring room kung nakikita lang niya akong walang ginagawa so my skills will remain 'superb' he said.

He knows the reason why we are being surrounded by spy cameras, the meaning of every beep from our alarm system, why there's always a tracking device attached to him, and why they are being followed by bodyguards whenever they go out.

I've trained him too on how to answer questions from strangers and give distress signals and codes that will alarm people around him in a discreet way if he thought that he's in danger, he understood and strictly follows everything I told him because he's also aware that our life is always at stake with the kind of business we're in.

I heaved a long breath and frustratedly opened my eyes and looked at the airplane's window,

ngunit imbes na malibang, my subconscious mind began to play the scenes from five years ago...

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