I'm The Monster ( Jinx X Fem Reader )

Passing Time

-chapter 20- 

It's been two weeks and three days since I talked with Sevika and I can't help but wonder how she's doing. When I go to lay down on the couch beside Jinx, I can't stop my mind from occasionally drifting to the shack. Whether my spot on the floor lies untouched, mattress pad askew and blankets still piled on top of it as I left it the day of the shipment, or if it's shoved down a garbage chute somewhere. Whether my clothes still lay misshapenly on the floor, or if Sevika took the time to pick them up and purge the shack of my existence. Most importantly, whether she's gone back to how she was before I came to train with her or if she wonders what I'm doing the same way I'm wondering about her right now. After having time to replay our conversation over and over, I've come to realize that her words that stung me so bad could have just been her covering up her true emotions about the situation and, in a roundabout way, asking if I'd be okay or not without breaking the heartless character that Silco knows and trusts. On the other hand, maybe I'm just psychoanalyzing the situation and she meant exactly what she said. Nevertheless, I miss her.

But with all of the bad things comes some good as well, I suppose. There's not a word to express how comfortable I've been here with her, the girl that I didn't want within a two hundred mile radius of me mere weeks ago and now don't want out of my sight. I haven't sat down and colored since I was, like, 9, but she makes it just as fun as it used to be and we do it constantly. Jinx had hung a piece of plywood above her workstation to proudly display at least 20 small knives that we had hand made, all of them stuck into the grain a bit to display their hilts which have either a blue or green dot on the end to discern who had made them. Jinx also has my first ever bomb that I made sitting right above the knives like a stunning trophy- after I had finished making it under her strict guidance, she had gushed about how proud she was of me and then promptly displayed it as if it was a highly valued art piece in an art gallery. She has been surprisingly firm in her rules of not letting me leave unless she's accompanying me to Silco's quarters that are just minutes away for the bathroom, as her own place has no such thing. I'm seeing a whole new side of Jinx as she's becoming more and more comfortable by the minute- she has gained such a wholesome presence, yet I bend to her will with a single word. We haven't messed around anymore since the night she accompanied me to her home, but I'm honestly just enjoying every second of everything this period of time has to offer, because it feels like in mere seconds, it could be ripped away. So here I sit, grasping a passed out Jinx to my chest. She lays with her cheek tucked to me, listening to my heartbeat as she has insisted on doing every time we lay down together.

I smile at the thought, pulling my arms around her and laughing a bit under my breath. "Heh, little weirdo."

"Hmm?" Jinx responds to my surprise without moving a muscle.

"Oh, nothing," I hum, squeezing her even tighter to me.

"Mhm." She says, dismissing my comment and nuzzling further into the fabric of my shirt.

"I'm just thinking about how I'm gonna milk these few weeks we have together while I'm lazing about 'healing'." I put air quotes around the word with a quick laugh. "That's all."

"Well, it's not like you're going anywhere," Jinx pushes up from my chest quickly to look up, concern swimming in her eyes and her tone suddenly forced, "right?"

I smile back down at her fondly. "No, I just mean while we can get away with doing nothing. I'm not going anywhere."

Her face relaxes and she returns her ear to its rightful spot above my heart.

"I don't know what you mean, I can't wait to go out and do some actually fun stuff." Jinx whines, her finger finding its way to one of my hands and tracing the lines on my palm.