I'm The Monster ( Jinx X Fem Reader )

A Final Departure

-chapter 32-

It's only as I kneel before a large duffle bag on the floor of Sevika and I's shared room that the tears begin to slow. I stuff in all of my items one by one. Thankfully, I hadn't accumulated much over the time that I'd spent here. I'm not sure where I'm going yet; the only thing I know is that I have to go, and wherever I end up has to be far away.

As much as I'd like to think about and process what just happened, my mind is entirely blank, fogged in just about as entirely as the sky has been this evening. It feels like I've cried all of my tears out, and in their absence is only numbness, and a driving notion that I need to distance myself from this place. My body shakes with silent sobs every so often as I pack, but my face only stays wet from tears long since cried.

I was always incredibly thankful that Sevika allowed me to have the bottom drawer of her dresser. I kept all of my clothes there and general belongings. Now, it felt painfully empty, the wood of the bottom panel beginning to show. My pants, cargo pocketed and rough, patched jeans, pulled from where they laid peacefully folded and thrown into the bag. The few shirts I own, most ripped in one way or another, some long sleeved, some short, accompany the pants in the bag as well. Among these are both the outfit Jinx had made for me, and the club outfit she had picked for me; I couldn't bear to part with them. As I begin to work my way through the spare jackets I had gotten, a certain fabric catches my eye; a shimmery, teal piece. I pick it up delicately, my stomach turning over with sadness as it tumbles open. It's the dress that Sevika had lent me for our night at the club, a left behind item from one of her 'lady visitors'. I hiccup out a laugh. What a weird way to say 'hookup'. Idly, my fingers slip to the bottom of it, tracing the jagged edge that had caught on the building during Jinx and I's mad dash. With a sigh, I fold it up just as delicately and place it on top of the rest of the clothes in the bag. Then goes the jackets, the socks, the underwear, and spare trinkets I had accumulated in one corner of the drawer. Much to my dismay, the majority are from Jinx. A few small, dried flowers, a rounded piece of stained glass Jinx had found ("It's pretty! Reminded me of you!" She had said giddily as she closed my fingers around it), one of the many knives I had made with her over my time of recovery, along with some other small things. The remaining pieces of what we had. Delicately, as if I would lose the memories attached to them if I handled them wrong, I place each one securely in a side pocket. Wherever I'll end up, the glimpses of us will follow along with me.

It's only as I've thoroughly stripped the drawer that I remember what I'm forgetting. Slipping my fingernails between the bottom panel of the drawer and the side panel, I lift the piece of wood, revealing a small space and the note from Rue. The trick is something I found one night, bored when I couldn't sleep. I never had any use for it until the note. I stand up as I unfold it, walking towards the lamp at the side of Sevika's bed to read it.

I can't repay you enough. I'm not sure how

to thank you properly, Y/N, but maybe this

could be a start.

Remember what I said.

What she had said was "read between the lines". I squint in the spaces between her words again, and once again see nothing. I lean in even closer to the paper, holding it to the space at the top of the lampshade to get the most light from the bulb behind it-

And that's when I see something new, a single word shining through, as if left there by invisible ink.

I can't repay you enough. I'm not sure how

to thank you properly, Y/N, but maybe this

could be a start.

                                                                               water