Me

Weak

Can I tell you a secret?

My secret is that...
I'm not as strong as I say I am.

If people ask me what's wrong and if I need to vent or something, I always tell them I'm fine, it's ok, I don't wanna bother them, it doesn't matter anyway. But...it does. And it hurts..a lot..when people don't see that. I mean obviously I'm not ok if I was just talking about something that hurt me- how is it so easy to believe though, like everybody believes in two seconds I just randomly got over it...
And I just want someone to tell me it's ok to break that I don't have to be strong for everyone...but no one like that is ever gonna come along. Of course not. I do have to be strong; I can't be selfish.
I tell everyone that it's ok I vent to other people, but I've realized- I tell that to everyone so I don't actually vent to anybody (except kinda to Livvie...but not properly basically she tries to get me to vent and I am all like no I don't wanna hurt you and then she lets it go..)

But back to me being weak...
That says a lot cuz in the first place im not even acting like I'm that strong..
I only just got good at lying and saying I'm ok, and sometimes if the sadness is overwhelming I tell someone I'm not ok..(I always regret it).
I'm .. So.. Weak..
I just feel like I'm getting crushed by everything.