Me

God

Ugh. I'm so pissed, and upset...
Yesterday a lot of stuff happened. I'm gonna rant a bit about religion (I think it's Catholicism in not really sure- whoever believes in God lol).
Last night I was talking to Livvie, and I asked her what makes her happy (we were talking about how she is sad when she misses her bf cuz he can't talk and I wanted to help her find ways to find happiness). One of the things she said was her bf, and I said that you shouldn't depend on people for happiness because what happens when they aren't there?
Livvie, who is religious, said you shouldn't love things that are worldly (like books) because when you die you go where you heart is and you don't wanna stay here because the world is evil. So I was like, so you're saying everyone should kill themselves because earth sucks?
And then she said no, because killing yourself is a sin and its unforgivable. And I got SOOOO pissed. Like, these people couldn't take it and so they decide they've had enough, and instead of feeling bad because it had to come to this, 'God' will punish them?! What the heck. She said that they don't deserve to go to heaven cuz they threw away god's gift. What kind of gift is it if your whole life sucks??? I said that whoever made you kill yourself shouldn't be forgiven and she was like nobody makes U kill your self unless you hand them a knife and force them to. I believe that's wrong; what about the people who got abused, bullied, ignored, left, etc? Yes nobody forced them to do it. But they were a huge factor. They made them want to die. They ruined that persons life, but they deserve to go to heaven more than that person?
That is bullshit.
I told her about my best friend who got abused her whole life by her whole family, and how all her friends just use her for their needs and don't care about her.
And I was like, does this not count as making her want to die? You say she deserves this?
And she was like, she will be super happy in heaven happier than U can imagine. And I'm like HOW WILL SHE GO RO HEAVEN IF WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IS TRUE. WTF.
She thinks that if u believe in God and live for him then that's a great life. But shouldn't u be living for yourself? You shouldn't be living for anyone else. You should focus on having the life YOU want. Do what YOU think is right. Not what some almighty dude nobody even has proof exists 'said' you should do.
Because what kind of God is that? I believe if there is a god, he would love everyone. He would forgive you if you hurt someone because everybody deserves love no matter what. He would forgive you if you killed yourself- but if there was a God then he should make your life good and shouldn't make you want to kill yourself!
If God is the guy who gives U everything in life...isn't he the one to make them kill themselves? Technically isn't it his fault since he gave them too much? Shouldn't we be the ones forgiving him for killing people?
God should support everybody no matter what. Race, sex, sexuality, etc.
Oh and then Livvie said how nobody deserves anything, we all deserve to rot in hell. So then I blew up (actually I blew up at the beginning, but, I blew up again lol) and I was like, You think I deserve worse than this? You think my best friend deserved what she got? That was not fair in any way and she did not deserve it.
So then I just couldn't take it.
I told her I didn't wanna be friends with her.
The thing is, she's always been here for me and helped me. And I don't understand why if she thinks I'm stupid and deserve all this. And if she thinks I should be stronger because God doesn't give you more than you can handle.
And like she used to be depressed and wanted to die. HOW CAN SHE STILL THINK THAT?!?! Does she not understand how much pain people are in?
She said people were throwing away gods gift, but in reality they don't wanna die and throw it away. They just don't think there is anything to throw away (that's good). Nobody wants to die. They just want the pain to end

I think that's the end of my rant. Sorry if I offended some people. I just think this is all so STUPID!!!😡😭😢😥