meant to be | seongsang (✓)

☆.｡.:* 1.6 .｡.:*☆

yeosang and seonghwa sat on the couch the next morning, staring at each other nervously. they had agreed that they needed to talk things out and really just work through everything, but the hard part was getting the conversation started.

"so..." seonghwa began, looking down a bit.

"hm?"

"i really fucked up, sang... the worst part is that i had genuinely forgotten that my first time wasn't really with you until jongho mentioned it. i let my lies become my truth, and i had you believing them too... and that wasn't okay."

"i-i'm not really that mad about that... i-i'm mad that because of that, i've been treating hongjoong like shit for years. i've called him a liar, i've laughed in his face... all because i believed that i was actually your first time. i feel absolutely awful about that, hwa. i-i apologized, but that doesn't feel like enough..."

"i know... i know you did. i apologized to joong too, i made sure he knew that the way you acted was my fault."

"i'm so tired, hwa... so, so tired..." yeosang whimpered.

"i know, baby... i know."

"i-i need us to fix this, i-i can't keep doing this, i-it's so stressful. i-i need you..."

seonghwa wrapped his arms around yeosang and pulled the boy close, holding him tightly as the younger whimpered and shook, evidently holding back tears.

"i'm right here, love... i'm not going anywhere."

"p-please—"

"it's okay to cry, love... don't hold yourself back..."

yeosang burst into tears, clinging to seonghwa's body.

"i-i can't lose you, hwa... y-you're all i have left..."

"that's not true, baby... you have all of our friends... you have wooyoung's family... you have so many people who are always going to be here for you, okay? but you won't lose me... i'm going to do everything i can to avoid that. i'm going to work on myself and be better for you."

"i—" yeosang shook his head, gently pulling away from seonghwa.

"y-you can't only do it for me... y-you need to do it for yourself and everyone else too... your faults don't just hurt me, they hurt others too... joongie, jjong... they were both affected."

seonghwa nodded, staring at the ground.

"can you promise me that you'll do this for yourself?" yeosang asked in a whisper.

"i promise, sangie..."

yeosang nodded this time, curling himself into a ball on the other side of the couch. seonghwa missed the close contact badly, but he tried hard to be patient and wait for the younger to be ready. he fidgeted with his fingers a bit, trying not to cave to any of his nervous habits.

"seonghwa?"

"hm?"

"thank you... for taking care of me last night."

"well i wasn't going to just leave you out there... you needed someone to lean on... i wanted to make sure you had that someone."

yeosang smiled small, and seonghwa quickly noticed that the smile was a broken one.

"still... thank you. i needed that. i needed all of this."

"anything for you."

"i'm still going to spend a lot of time out for a couple more weeks... i-i still feel like i need a little space. but i'll come home before you're asleep... a-and maybe for dinner a couple of times?"

"whatever you need to do, i'm okay with it... but i would absolutely love to have you home for dinner a couple of times and to see you before i go to sleep... i miss that..."

yeosang smiled a bit brighter this time, scooting slightly closer to seonghwa and gently taking his hands.

"you're nervous..." he stated.

seonghwa nodded, blushing a bit in embarrassment and looking away.

"it's okay to be nervous, hwa... i understand," yeosang whispered, giving his hands a small squeeze.

"i just... i feel like i'm going to fuck up again, even if i try not to..."

"hwa... love, have some faith in yourself, yeah?"

seonghwa took a shaky breath, and yeosang now noticed that his eyes were a bit glossy.

"seonghwa... come here," yeosang said softly as he put his arms out for a hug.

seonghwa curled into yeosang's body and began to cry softly as he clung to the boy, taking shaky breaths as yeosang brushed through his hair gently.

"you're okay, hwa... i'm right here... everything's going to be okay..."

"i-i—"

"shh... it's okay, take a few deep breaths first. follow me, yeah?"

seonghwa nodded as he took deep breaths, following as yeosang guided him. soon, yeosang cupped the boy's cheeks and smiled softly in his direction, gently thumbing away at his tearstained cheeks.

"how are you doing, bub?" yeosang asked.

"better... j-just... stay? please?"

yeosang nodded and started to play with the older's hair, allowing him to relax a bit further.

"i-i love you," seonghwa whispered with a sniffle.

"i love you too, hwa..."

yeosang pressed a soft kiss to the older's forehead, causing a small sigh of relief from seonghwa's lips.

"i'm not going anywhere, love. i promise," yeosang reminded, sprinkling soft kisses all over seonghwa's temple and forehead. "you would have to do far worse than what's already happened for me to even consider."

"b-but didn't y—"

"seonghwa... i needed space. i never planned on leaving."

seonghwa only nodded, resting his head in the crook of yeosang's neck.

the two sat in silence like this for a few minutes, simply taking in the moment and memorizing how every little bit of contact felt. seonghwa closed his eyes a bit, worn out from crying so much. meanwhile, yeosang just sat contently, reminding himself of how grateful he was for the older.

seonghwa was the first to speak after their silence, taking a deep breath first.

"are you staying for the rest of the day today?"

yeosang nodded, smiling small.

"good... i didn't wanna let you go so soon..."

yeosang let out a soft laugh, looking at seonghwa.

"i love you, yeosang. i love you and everything you are."

"i love you too..."

"c-can i have a kiss?"

yeosang giggled before nodding, his nose scrunched up a bit.

seonghwa smiled and nodded in response before cupping the boy's cheeks and kissing him sweetly.

"i love you so much, yeosang. thank you for being mine..."

"i'll always be yours..."

~
and we're back to semi regular updates :)) so so much to come hehehe