Stuff I write and find

Part 33 Enjoy <3

I often dream of a different world and in that world I am happy.

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I fucking hate the stress and I don't know what to do now, I never knew...

It has always been this way,

I've always noticed it,

but it was like a raging storm when nothing was happening,

I was so confused.

I just got so stressed because every little thing was building up

but now it's not little things.

They are big things,

so many big things

and I never knew how to control it before, how am I going to control it now?

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I like to dream alot, 

it's much better than reality.

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I don't even care if I am happy or not anymore, I just want to make others happy so they never feel what I feel.

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Fuck everybody at my school!

They are all a bunch or fucking hypocrites!

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I don't cry,

I just sit there...

Thinking about everyone I ever let down

and everyone who left me

and in this moment I see it is very strange.

Maybe I don't cry anymore is because I have used all my tears already,

or maybe it's because I have finally given up on everything even my own fucking emotions.

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I guess it's easier to judge on the outside.

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Now I really don't see any differnce between the ones I love and the ones I hate, everything has just become a blur and I just don't know anymore.

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Cerebral palsy: a condition marked by impaired muscle coordination (spastic paralysis) and/or other disabilities, typically caused by damage to the brain before or at birth.   

That is what I have that is me...

I walk through school and teachers know me but I do not know them.

People treat me in different ways.

People don't see me,

they see my disability.

I am not my disability.

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