Alexithymia

01

YR 4 SUMMER

I always loved spending time at the Malfoy Manor. Draco's window overlooked the gardens and every once in a while you could see white peacocks strutting around. A bad encounter with one in the summer of second year ensured I'd probably never go down there, but it made a nice view from above.

"Are you planning on going to the Quidditch World Cup?" Draco asked, peering at me while still focused on his game of wizarding chess with Blaise.

"Father said I'm not allowed." I pouted, while lying on his bed with a muggle book in my hands.

"I'm sure your father would also say it's improper for you to be lying on a man's bed reading muggle literature." Blaise retorted. "And yet here you are."

Blushing, I sat up straight, clutching the book to my chest, about to throw a rather nasty remark at Blaise if Draco hadn't intervened.

Muggle books were magical, although Blaise usually argued otherwise. I didn't know how Draco smuggled them -or where he got them from- but his hidden collection was one of the reasons I visited so much during the summer.

"We should all go." Draco interrupted, "Father has a box- courtesy of the Minister."

"Sorry mate, I'm leaving for France tomorrow." Blaise drawled before glancing at me, "I'm sure Ash would be good company. Ah, checkmate."

"Of course I'm good company," I scoffed, reaching over him for another cookie.

"Albeit, incredibly unladylike." He muttered to Draco, who snickered in response.

"I heard that." I huffed, throwing the empty cookie tin at them and their now forgotten game.

They laughed when the tin landed nowhere near them, but before I could throw a book at them, there was a knock at the window.

Hermes was perched on the windowsill, a rolled parchment attached to his leg that unmistakably had the Sewlyn family crest.

In neat penmanship, it read-

Come home. Your father and I are going overseas for ministry business and would like to say goodbye before you leave for the term.

"What's happened?" Draco asked while Blaise tried to peer over my shoulder.

Nosy bastard.

"Nothing," I pulled out a treat for Hermes and he went on his way. Presumably back to our estate. "I've been summoned home."

Blaise stood and slung his arm around my shoulder. "I guess that's my cue to leave too. See you at school, mate."

—

"Where are you going?"

Her voice was sudden and my head whipped back only to be met with darkness. A quick Lumos and I glared at Annika who was sitting in the dark, nursing a mug of what I think was coffee.

Her pale skin glowed in the light and she looked almost sickly. I would've been worried if this wasn't her natural skin tone. The only thing I noticed was that the bags under her eyes were slightly darker than usual.

She was probably just up late studying. It was, after all, her final year at Hogwarts.

"Where are you going? It's early." She repeated when I didn't answer her.

"Why does it matter to you?" I snapped and turned back to grab the floo powder. It levitated out of my grasp and I cursed.

"You're not going to see that Malfoy boy, are you?" She scoffed, "Didn't father tell you-"

"He's not here." I huffed, waving my arm across our empty parlor.

—

I hated admitting this, but I should've listened to Annika.

When I arrived, it was complete and utter chaos. People were screaming and running for their lives while tents burned and smoke filled the air. I had never been on a battlefield, but it was how I imagined one would be.

Wizards marched through the calamity wearing hooded masks- the very same ones I've seen in my father's office when I was younger.

"Ash!" Draco yelled, pulling me out from the tent I was hiding behind. He started running in the opposite direction- back to where I came from.

"You were supposed to meet me half an hour ago." He groaned as we ran.

"Sorry," I was out of breath, and definitely out of shape, so my voice wavered when I spoke. "Annika was home."

We stopped at a hedge and Draco started rustling through the bushes with his hands. He quickly found what he was looking for and grabbed my hand, putting it on a garden gnome shaped portkey.

When we appeared at the Manor, Draco did a once over to check if I had any injuries, which I insisted I was fine.

Narcissa burst into his room, worried and flustered. She wiped the dirt from his face with an embroidered handkerchief and turned to me.

"I've received a letter from Annika. She heard about the commotion and insisted that you stay with us for the rest of the summer." She frowned, grabbing my hand and rubbing the back of it with her thumb. It was rather calming, despite the distressed look she wore. "Don't worry, dear, Annika will not be alone in that large house. She said that she'll be staying with a friend. Briddy will fetch your trunks."

The moment she spoke the house elf's name, Briddy appeared from thin air and escorted me to my room despite the objections from Draco.

"Hush, Draco," I heard Narcissa reprimand her son, "You'll have time with her later. Let her get settled in first."