Into oblivion

Loyalties

📚

"Mia" I glance up to find Max holding a cup at me, the steam of it swirling up into the air before disappearing stole me into a trance for a second. Yet I can't find a single drop of energy in me to take it from him, even if my life suddenly depended on it. I can't. He sets it down crouching before me.

"You must be going through hell and I understand that, but Mia you haven't ate or drank anything in hours you need to eat something, please" his soft eyes gently stare into mine but I feel nothing, so I just sit there. "You lost blood too, that cut on your head was just stitches surely it's giving you a headache so just please, at least drink this" when his kind attempts fail once again he sighs, resting a hand on my lap before standing up and walking over to a family nurse. Nicholas lays completely still, hooked up with wires surrounding him entirely, his skin pale as paper, cuts on every inch of his skin. I feel my eyes begin to tear up and I let it, I let the tears fall until my eyes begin to burn.

"You should really leave-" the nurse says reaching for my arm, I pull her into me, slamming her back into the closest wall there is. The silver glistening of my knife at her throat makes my breath hitch, I don't remember having this anywhere on me and yet here it is pressed to her throat. The sheer terror in her eyes remind me of how that was once me, I let go pushing myself back.

"Mia" Max is standing by the door assessing what I've done but not with disappointment or disgust, instead like he knows how much I'm hurting, like he himself has also snapped today.

Donte comes trailing in and under different circumstances I would've ran to him for comfort but all I can see is a monster, a monster I once loved. I look away before I say something I know I shouldn't or honestly maybe I should.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't h- I'm sorry" I trail off but she runs out holding onto her neck and I take my seat back next to Nicholas who still look's the same as he did seconds ago.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself"

"Why not Max, this is entirely my fault" it's true.

"No it's not, hey" his hands capture my own as he lowers himself down onto the floor once again "what happened to him was not your fault, he chose to take a bullet for you, you didn't make him do that"

"But if I had just got down when he told me to this wouldn't be happening"

"You're right it wouldn't of, but it has so we can either sit here and stare at him till he wakes up or find whoever shot him, it's up to you"

I look up at him and he's got a glare I've never seen him have before.

"Are you in or are you just gonna sit here?"

"Where do we start?" suddenly the empty feeling I was sitting in has changed into anger and I'm hanging onto it with everything I have left, he slightly smiles nodding to me.

"Get cleaned up, eat something and meet me at the garage in two hours"

"What's in two hours"

"You mean besides ripping those cunts from the inside out"

I nod and somewhere behind him Donte leaves without a sound, I forgot he was even there to begin with.

I stand up hovering over Nicholas, taking his cold hand in mine "please don't leave me whilst I'm gone, please" leaning closer I kiss his cheek lingering there for a moment almost too long before pulling away, I walk out without glancing back.

I run up the stairs and into my room, it all smells like him- NO. I shake out of it walking into the bathrooms door as if the room right behind it will rid itself of the man I would do anything for, my eyes glance up halting me even more. The person in the mirror isn't me, she look's broken, pathetic, someone who I promised to never look like again. Blood coverers half my face, my white hair is simply red, my dress is ripped and covered in dust and more blood, my knees are cut up, arms scratched, bloodied. There's just so much blood.