Into oblivion

Truth

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Nicholas presses a button on a glossy wood panel and I watch as he stands there waiting for something to happen. Soon enough though a little noise from behind the wall catches my attention, it's almost like a shuffle or when a train track switches sides and makes that little clicking noise. Then, very smoothly, the wall opens apart revealing an elevator.

"Of course you have an elevator" I shake my head.

"It's eight floors Amore, it would be stupid not to" he gestures for me to go in first and I do surprisingly without any hesitation. The elevator inside has this distinct smell to it, it's not a bad one and if anything it makes your mind wonder back to when you were younger, reminding you of lost memories that have been hidden away by age. It's familiar and painful all in one.

"Mia, about the guys upstairs you have to understand something. The men that work for me have no compassion for other peoples lives. They may seem friendly and approachable but that's the biggest lie about them"

I step in front of him confused on why he's telling me this.

"Just be careful"

"Don't worry, you wont have to kill any more people for me"

"You mistaken my words. I'd kill every single person here without the slightest thought to it, all you'd have to do is tell me how fast you wanted it done" his eyes have not looked away from mine since he said that. My skins heats up from his heavy words and the way he's looking at me isn't helping one bit. He smiles when he notices my struggles to act calm, it's not like it's easy to hide the small panic when all he does is make it his life mission to do just that.

"Feeling hot Mia?" his voice is a lot louder from the tight space we're in, the close walls amplify every drop of it by a hundred. It's honestly just my luck.

I clear my throat and turn to face the mirrored door "it's just warm in here"

He's right next to me now, leaning down to my height so that his lips brush against my ear and he whispers "I know the feeling" his eyes find mine in the mirror and I can't pull my own gaze from his. I'm stuck. Thankfully though, the doors opened right there and then because otherwise I would've done something stupid. I basically sprint out the elevator the second it opened which makes him laugh of course.

"Laugh all you want asshole"

"Language Amore" he walks past me keeping eye contact and honestly shoot me now because the way I feel ... no. I follow along as he opens these beautiful double doors, they almost look like chocolate bars with how rich the brown is "this is your room, do whatever you want to it and by the way, all your clothes plus the ones I ordered will be here tomorrow. So for now I'll give you something of mine for the night"

"Well I'm already wearing your hoodie" I look down to it as it hangs just over my knees. He's very tall to say the least.

"Wear anything you want" he says completely unbothered which confuses me slightly.

"What, so you're not going to give me the famous speech about showing too much skin or that I'm acting like a whore?"

His eyebrows shift upwards, just slightly "if someone has a problem with how you dress then I have a mag of ten rounds that I'll gladly empty into their skulls" He walks over to me, slowly taking my face into his hand "now get some rest love, we have training in the morning" he kisses my head again and I cant stop my heavy eyes from closing. I feel entirely stupid with how I feel in this moment, but with my body close to his, face in the palm of his warm hand, eyes closed and breathing in only his warm scent, it makes me feel things I never thought were possible by me. But I swear it's like my nose cancels out any other smell but his. When I open my eyes he's not there anymore.

I can't tell if I'm more disappointed in myself for playing into this fantasy or just him leaving, or maybe it's just both.

It's not like I don't ever want a relationship, it's just the last one didn't exactly show me any happy things that could possibly come out of one. I hate that my mind can't let go of the past, every time Nicholas moves or breaths a different way I think that's it, he's finally had enough of me, he's finally going to hit me and I'll end up right where I ran away from. Or when I'm sleeping and hear a single noise my stomach drops and my entire body goes freezing cold because I feel like I'm back in that stupid apartment locked in that bathroom and Rayan is coming back for more. It takes me the whole night sometimes to remind myself that I'm not there anymore, that if I ever saw him I wouldn't be terrified of him, that I wouldn't hesitate for a split second before killing him.

I think the only part I'm scared of is looking him dead in the eyes and it reminding me of every single thing he ever did to me. I know I'll see him, it's inevitable. Especially now that I'm back in London.

I just hope I don't see Belle, because I'll most likely kill her too.