Into oblivion

Painful memories

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Life. Life is unexpected, anything could happen at any given moment and just like that you're dead, or maybe a horrible accident occurs and suddenly your whole life get's put on complete hold but in reality, and in truth, it's all still very much moving without giving a shit if you're ready or not. Life doesn't have favorites or sympathy, it's not vengeful or giving, it's simply constantly on the move which means there's really no such thing as a pause.

But for some, like the wannabe ninja warrior in front of me. His life will end today. Permanently.

He charges into me with his sword pointed and screaming at the top of his lungs like he's at war, I simply move to the side. He hits the large metal bin face first dropping his sword along the way.

Embarrassing.

"What's with the dramatics?" I ask hovering above the guy- oh it's a girl. Well, this is awkward, the black scarfs she had around her face and neck had slipped off revealing her face. She has light freckles scattered across her whole cheeks and neck, I actually get stuck on taking her in for a moment before realising the situation I'm in.

"I'm going to cut your throat open" she huffs out shaking her head side to side trying to regain her vision.

"Right and will that be after or before you're dead?" I kick her sword under the rest of the bins "do me a favor and find a different career path" I smile walking away from her until the sound of a sword scratching against the concrete floor catches my attention. Why do some women inherit men's mentality?

I lower myself down, spinning in the process swiping my leg under hers. She falls smacking her head straight onto the concrete floor "seriously? I don't want to kill you but you're pushing it here"

I have this thing where killing women just doesn't weigh right with me. So, every time I do bump into one, I try giving them a chance to just piss off but when they don't, well, there's not much I can do then.

"Coward" her face twists in pain as she tries to adjust her body so that it hurts less "he was right, you are pathetic "she coughs out a laugh looking at me.

My heart instantly picks up a few beats from knowing those word all too well "He?"

She doesn't reply. This bitch really thinks she has an option, I lift my foot to her throat slamming it down, but her body reacts instinctively as she tries to block the blow but fails. 

"I'll ask once more. Who. is. HE?" I push down harder with each word.

"He should've finished you off right there in that ally way" she croaks out again "What's wrong, you gonna cry?"

I swallow the hard lump in my throat and focus on my breathing, this is not the time or place to be dealing with this. I need to get back to Donte and see if he's okay.

I slam my foot down crushing her entire throat. I hear her wince out a last breath until she stops moving completely, her eyes stay open still looking into mine. My reflection in them clear as day, I knew I changed the minute i decided to push him off me, but still, even after all these years it still manages to surprise me at just how much.

I just wish I had done it sooner, I don't know if that would've meant not being who I am today but at least I wouldn't of had to go through the things that i did. One specific memory that seems to keeps my mind running is the time he tied me to a burning radiator with metal cuffs, he poured burning hot water onto me at any time he wanted. He would sometimes leave the house which would give me time to cool down from the searing burns but the minute he got back he would head straight into the kitchen for the kettle, sometimes he wouldn't though but that didn't stop me from staying up all nights and day listening to his every movement just in case he wanted to have his fun. I would scream for hours, days even but none of them meant a single thing to him.

I shake away my thoughts internally hating myself for returning to them.

It's pitch black now, probably after one. All of the streets are now lit by the orange streetlight and not a single person is out and about. I need to get to Donte right fucking now.

I check my pocket for the USB stick and when i feel that it's still there i begin to run down the alley way back home.

Please be alive.