Into oblivion

Simple questions

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My back hits against the comfy sheets of my bed and I almost drown myself completely in them. They weren't lying when they said Egyptian cotton was to die for. It wraps around your entire body as if it was alive giving me the right amount of comfort and space.

"Hey" Nicholas says coming out of the shower laying down next to me in our matching white robes.

"Hey" I mutter back smiling at him.

"So Max is still looking for them but there's been talk of them getting spotted around this one particular area, it looks like they have nowhere to run"

"I'll see if he needs any help" I begin to lift myself up but he stops me putting his arm over my stomach.

"Stay" he ask hopingly "for a minute?"

I lay back down sighing to the ceiling above me, it's engraved in so many designs, some spiral whilst others are a thick straight line. It's almost hypnotizing really.

"How are you?"

I chuckle at his question "you did not just ask me that"

He pauses for a moment as he thinks about something "when I was little no one would give two shits about what was going on with me. They never tried or asked if I needed help but I remember wanting just one person to ask me how I was, it's such a stupid question when the answer was always so much bigger, so much more painfuller and yet that's all I wanted. Because I knew the second I was asked that I could let everything I was feeling, everything I was thinking out. So yes, how are you"

Well I wasn't expecting that.

"I feel..... I don't know" I laugh at myself for even thinking about opening up but he stay's silent waiting for anything I can say. It was all funny a second ago but now my mind is spiraling with so much to say that I kinda do wanna let it out "I'm tired, of it all I guess"

He moves to his side resting his head in the palm of his hand.

"I don't know what else to say except for that, he has taken so much from me and continues to do so like he deserves it but today I-I felt like him. The way I didn't stop, didn't even hesitate in trying to kill my own sister.....who does that? I mean sure she wouldn't hesitate either but that's her, not me and yet with every punch, with every breath that I took doing that to her I don't regret it, I don't. I would do it over and over again and again because for once in my life I decided my own fate and not the other way around, sometimes I wonder if you have to become your own villain in order to kill the monster"

"And is that so bad, becoming a villain I mean?"

"I don't know" I say truthfully.

"Think of it this way, you're always going to be a villain in someone's life even if you try to be the best you can, so why bother trying to become the good guy if no one will view you as such"

This time I meet his gaze "is that what you think about yourself?"

"You don't?"

I shake my head instantly "I don't see you as a villain Nicholas, I see you as someone who doesn't deserve an ounce of pain and yet continues to drown in nothing but that" he smiles pulling me on top of him.

"It's not so bad when I have you" his hands rest below my back soothing my body.

"But you won't always have me"

"Now that's funny"

"I'm serious, what if something happens?"

"Nothing will ever take you away from me, ever" his eyes darken as he says each word as if he's sealing it with a promise.

"You sound so sure"

"Because I am, if anyone tried or thought about hurting you I'd kill every single one of them" his eyes seem to smile for his lips, now that's a present in its self "you'll kill Rayan, I know you will. There's nothing that could stop you from getting your revenge but-" he pauses.

"But what?"

"But even when he is dead, I'll make sure he feels everything else that comes after it, there will be nothing left of him" his gaze is hard, promising even.

"I have something to tell you"

He stiffens slightly underneath me making me rethink my decision to tell him but I might as well.

"I know-"

"Know what love?"

I pause for a second thinking of how to just say it without hurting him or me in the process.

"- I know about Donte"

His eyes seem to have saddened making his brows furrow alongside but he isn't sad for him.

"I'm sorry"

"Why are you apologizing I should be the one saying sorry for the rest of my life, I talked so highly of him and basically shoved him in your face and all you did was take it, why?"

"Because he made you happy"

Sometimes I really do hate him.

"You can't just keep throwing yourself to the side for me, promise me you won't ever do something like that again" I'm pissed out my mind at him why does he always do this. 

"I can't because I know I'd break it in seconds" his smile widens as I get more and more annoyed. I push myself of his chest not wanting to hear him right now but he only slams me back onto the soft sheets putting himself on top of me.

"You will always be my first priority, you want me to lie and say you won't be, I can't do that Mia. For once you won't be getting what you want for me" his arms are holding mine over my head trapping me in with his weight. His wet hair has begun to dry making his curls more fuller and all I wanna do is run my hands through them but I don't.

His eyes seem to have wondered down to my chest as the robe slipped open slightly from the turn.

"Your eyes seem to gave gotten lost"

"Nah I think they're right where they want to be" I know that look, it means only one thing and as much as I would love to make every thought of his real, there's work to be done.

I flip him over grinding down a little making his breath tremble "I'd love to but you know we can't"

"We're in Paris Amore, we can do anything"

"Yeah-" I lean down kissing his soft hungry lips before jumping off to get ready "-like work"

"You're killing me" his smile makes my heart do this weird thing where it feels a size too big. He has infiltrated my heart and soul without meaning too, well, knowing him he probably does mean to but I have grown to love every bit of his trespassing.

I throw on a pair of jeans before finishing it off with a thin long sleeved top "come down when you get dresses, I need you" I tuck my hair behind my ear as I bend down to tie my shoe laces.

"Be there in just a second"

When I finish I walk over to him kissing him one more time before leaving.

"Your ass looks great in those jeans by the way"

"Yeah?" I ask opening the door and he nods grinning "well let's see if all the other guys downstairs think the same" his smirk slowly fades from his face.

"Sweetheart, unless you want your pretty outfit to get ruined and turn many shades of red. I wouldn't push it" I know for a fact he isn't bluffing but I got to say, having someone else be crazy about you instead of the other way round is fun.

"Now now Nicholas Bane, it's not like I'm yours or anything" I grin at his darkened gaze and walk out before he could say anything but before the door closes I hear him say something.

"Oh but you are"