Into oblivion

Let the games continue

📚

He shuts the door with his free hand as the other is wrapped tightly around my waist, my face seems to burry itself deeper against his warm skin and once again my senses are all of him. I can't explain it because I've never felt like this before, but it's like seeing your favorite person after an eternity of missing one another, or, like when you've just woken up and it's all silent except for the little birds that are chirping on the tree lines, the sky is clear and the sun is hugging your body, warming you up from the inside out and there's this strong sense of never wanting to leave your comfort sheets. It's addicting, it's safe.

When I'm around him that's exactly how I feel, but if I was asked to simply put it into one word, I'd look like an idiot because I don't know. He sits down on top his messy bed with me still in his arms. I definitely feel better than what I felt moments ago and in times like these I wonder if I deserve to feel the relief, the absolute calm. My mind does bad things to me and I have to live with it, I can't outrun it or ask it to stop, it just wants to me to be alone, to always feel as though feeling anything but pain is beyond wrong. It's tiring.

"When and if you wanna talk, I'm right here "I nod against him, too scared to speak and ruin this moment of peace "and if you don't want to talk, then stay with me for as long as you want" why does he have to be so understanding, it only makes it more difficult to get him out my head. Another tear slips out and he pulls me back to get a better look, I move my head to the side so that I don't embarrass myself even more than I have but he gets hold of my face pulling me back towards him. Without letting go of my waist his other hand tucks my hair behind my ear forcing me to finally look at him.

"Talk to me sweetheart, what is it" his thumb brushes away the stray tear and I just stare at him like an actual child. His perfect face looks worried for me and my brain can't seem to fathom the idea of someone truly caring as much as he is right in this moment. It's surreal, but then confusion mixes in his eyes and I follow where he's looking realizing my legs is still bleeding shit-

I jump of him not wanting to get it all over him.

"Fuck I'm so sorry I-"

"Mia"

"No I'm sorry I come in here at this hour crying like some pathetic child as if-"

"Mia" I look up to him and all I see is his soft eyes looking back at me, they're not mad or upset or disappointed, instead, there's something else in them.

"I don't give a fuck if you're bleeding all over my bed" he says walking to me.

"No but you sh-"

"Mia I care about you. It's very simple" he pulls me in and I simply melt into his hold "I want to make you feel better, tell me how and I'll do it"

I take a moment to think about that because in truth, there really isn't an answer to that but there is one thing that could help "I just" I sigh trying not to break down "I don't wanna be alone" I finally breath out.

"Then you're not going anywhere" he kisses the top of my head holding me against his chest "but we need to get you cleaned up, come" he pulls me along into his bathroom that connects to his room, it's all white and very bright. I think I might go blind.

"Here" he smiles turning down the lights. When someone does something that benefits you without you having to say a single word, it's a different type of rush. I give him a small smile as he lowers himself in front of me, going inches from my lips before his hands grasp my waist, lifting me up onto the counter, taking a comfortable stands in-between my legs.

"How'd you manage that?" he looks down at me whilst unpacking some clean bandages. I could lie and just not tell him the truth but I've already wasted his time and woke him up so he deserves some honesty at least.

"I dug into it" I don't bother looking up, the stopping of the bandage getting unpacked says it all.

"Why" he lifts my leg and starts to clean the blood that has now slowly begun to dry.

"I had a bad dream" his soft touches linger on my skin each time he moves to clean it.

"About?"

"My sister and her unexplainable hatred for me" this time I do look up at him but he's focused on my leg. The way his brows scrunch up when he's concentrating makes you want to analyze each aspect of his face, like the way his jawline is perfect without the need to clench it like some of the other guys out there do. Or the way he has this ability to make you feel calm with just his presence. He finishes up and finally looks at me.

"You have the prettiest eyes" I blurt out, mentally killing myself right there oh my god.

He chuckles showing of that perfect smile of his "thank you, but they don't compare to your Amore mio"

"But mine are so boring" I chuckle turning my head slightly.

"And yet they've managed to do things to me that you couldn't possibly understand" his hands are on my thighs now, rubbing circles that seem to make my mind spiral without my control.

"I'm sorry that I woke you up"

"You didn't, I was actually awake" he smiles down at me.

"Why weren't you sleeping?" now I'm curious.

"The same reason you're not"

"You had a nightmare?"

"Mmh" he nods.

"What was yours about?"

"My mom" His eyes never leave mine along with his hold on my legs. It's hard to focus.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" I ask, although I don't even knowing how I'm even speaking right now.

"Do you?"

I smile at his him "fair play" he chuckles as he lifts me up making me straddle his waist again. My breath hitches at the close proximity we're in but he only smiles at my struggle once more, he lays me down on the bed and I watch as he drops down next to me.

"You wanna play the game?" he offers looking at me, I nod slightly.

"You start" he says and I guess that's his way of not scaring me away with the question he's been asking me since I came in.

"What was your dream about?"

"No" he says suddenly I turn to him, finding his head shaking "this isn't how we played it last time" his hands fingers slither around my waist pulling me onto him, the only and big difference is, I'm not drunk this time.

"That's better" he mutters, moving his fingers ever so lightly against the fabric of my shirt "My dream was about my mother for a change, she just got back from a business trip with my dad, when they returned she barely even looked at me, for a moment I though I'd gone invisible but that wasn't the issue" I take his hands from my sides and start playing with the tattoos that are laced around them.

"She walked right past me but my father greeted me, he told me she simply had a headache from the flight and that I shouldn't be sad. It of course didn't help much, he left later on that day for another business trip and the second those doors closed I heard her yell my name" he stops for a split second but then continues "I climbed up the stairs and met her in their room, she told me to take my shirt off and to come to her, I did, she was my mother after all. She started telling me how my father cheated on her throughout the trip, how she hated him, how he destroyed her. As her story came to an end she finished it of by burning her cigarette's into me, I counted six "

How could a mother do such a thing to her own child? my mother was anything but a monster. She was sweet and caring, she always knew what to do in any situation. If she were here she'd know the perfect thing to say to him, hell, she would've loved him.

"Nicholas I'm so sorry"

"Don't be, it's your turn"