IF I WERE THE DEVIL ; YANG JUNGWON

CARD XXX: It had to come this way.

She could feel the tears starting to fall once more. Her fallen angel. The memories of her fallen angel. She had finally gotten what she had always wanted, or had been led into believing she had always wanted. For in spite of her knowledge of her past, the cause of her weakness, she wasn't happy.

The contrary.

She was feeling more empty, more broken than ever before. Because only now she realised what she ever wanted was him. All the memories she had yearned so deeply for were only of him.

Perhaps she was right to fear her memories, the things she had and hadn't done.

"You meant Ahn, didn't you?" She asked, her jaw clenching at the thought of it. "'The real devil in his disguise whose words I would give my life for.' You knew he was behind all this." Her gaze was unreadable as it locked with Jake's. "Why didn't you do anything?"

"I couldn't." He swallowed hard. "I wasn't supposed to, so I tried to hint it to you," he confessed rather quietly. "It was just a guess on my part until I actually met him on the day of your loss to Heeseung."

"Jake this is enough time to do something," she sighed. "You knew what he was up to, why he was here. Instead of giving me vague hints, you could have done something. And don't say anything like "this wasn't meant to be" or some shit like that, because this whole arrangement wasn't meant to be to begin with."

"I just," He had no words, no justification for what he had done. "I was scared. You don't understand what consequence it could have had if I-"

"You mean like Jungwon still being alive?" She raised an eyebrow, feeling the deep wound in her heart sting. "Jake, listen, I couldn't care less what fate or any order of things demands, but he died, your favourite angel, my fallen angel, died because of Ahn." She drew in a deep breath in an attempt to keep her tears from flowing again.

"I saw him die." Her eyes filled uncontrollably with tears. "I saw Jungwon fvcking die. I saw him turn to ashes as if he never existed." She had given up all hope of stopping them, and was now just letting her tears run down her face.

He looked away from her. "What was I supposed to do?" He asked in frustration. "Do you think I wanted this?" He hadn't even realised what was coming out of him because he had buried these words so deep in his heart.

"I came here to save not only him but you too, but I fvcking failed you both. So please don't do any more guilt trips on me. I know what I am. And I told you enough of times what I am as well. A side-line watcher, Eyun. A. Shitty. Useless. Side-line. Watcher."

His eyes filled with anguish, but not at her, but at himself. "What do you expect me to do? I created him. I created this greedy demon with angel wings and aren't even able to do anything against him." His eyes welled up with angry tears.

"It's my fault that Won was banished and died." He sharply inhaled. "How do you think I feel? I am hurting too, but I don't even have the right to express my pain." His hands were clenched in fists, his head hung low. "The greatest curse is not knowing nothing. It's knowing everything and not being able to do anything about it."

She bit her lips before moving to his side and embracing him as he had done. "Cry," she merely said. "I will continue to fight with you when you are done. But cry for now." She gave him reassuring pats on the back.