THE BADDEST PRINCIPESSA

Chapter Thirty Eight - Monster

GABRIEL POV

I feel weak. All I see is darkness. I sense I am under bright light, but my eyes are shut tight. My head feels so foggy. What happened to me? Am I dead? No, surely I would know how I died. I can't remember anything.

Was the Mafia attacked? Oh god. Am I being held hostage? Not wait, I hear something in the distance. I feel like I can recognise the voice, but I can't figure out who it is.

"Phone me when Gabriel wakes up."

"Yes, Capo", a mysterious voice replied. The voice I recognised I think left. I heard a door slam shut. Who else is in the room with me?

Come on, Gabriel. Wake up. I need to get up. I need to fight. Where did all my fight go? Wait, Matteo. I was arguing with him. There was a gun. Matteo was begging for his life. My twin. I have to fight. I need to check if he is alright.

Whoever threatened my twin will have to face my wrath. They will not get away with this. Everybody should know this by now. You don't fuck with twins or, as a matter of fact, siblings. We may argue, but I'd kill for him. No harm shall come his way.

I messed up. I should've never been angry in the first place. I might never be able to apologise to him. Why is my face wet? Oh, god. I am crying. They can't see me cry.

"It's okay; You can wake up", a gentle voice speaks to me. I open my eyes. I see a man in a suit sitting in the corner of the room, looking at me. I try to move, but something is holding me down. I am lying down on something soft. Why would they give me a bed? I look down and notice. I am restrained to it. The restraints are soft and gentle. What is going on? Why are they being so kind? What kind of mind trick going on here? It's almost like the man in the corner can read my mind as he speaks, "There for your safety Gabriel. I will be back soon. I have to phone your brothers. They will be happy your awake." My brothers?! They're here?! Are they okay? I didn't care what the door said. I don't trust him. I need to get out of here quick. I begin to struggle frantically against the restraints.

I discover a sharp crack on the bars of the bed. I keep dragging the straps, effectively ripping them. I reach over to free my other arm. Suddenly I am not so alone anymore. Alessandro comes running in, reaches my free hand, and forcibly restrains my arm again.

"What going on, Ales? Who is forcing you to do this?!"

"No one. It is cause I love you"

"Why am I like this then? Is Matteo okay?"

"See that man over there" he points over to the man sitting in the corner. "He is going to explain everything. You can trust him" Then left me alone again with this stranger.

"Gabriel, I can see from the look of your face you are confused about all of this. Rest assured that everything said here will remain confidential between us and perhaps the capo. Can you explain to me what you and Matteo's argument was about, if you can recall?" he opened up his notepad and a pen he briskly removed carefully from his briefcase.

"He didn't save me again."

"Save you from what again?" he continued to write down

"People"

"What people?"

"Everyone. They look at me and judge me before they know me. I might be non-binary, but there is more to me. I am human. I shouldn't be hurt for being who I am."

"If you don't mind me asking, where does Matteo fit in all of this again? Does he not support you?"

"I thought he did. Things were getting better. It was like last time, though. He gave up on me again. He didn't save me. He knows I need him, but why didn't he help."

"What happened last time?"

"Short story when we were younger, I was bullied. I know I shouldn't have. I come from a mafia, but I am not a fighter. I cant. I cannot hurt innocent people. I can hurt those who betray our enemies or us but for kids like me? No. It is different. It is a different world out of there. I am not in the mafia world. I am equal. There are no enemies is, just people my age."

"How would you describe those kids?"

"Normal" I shrugged

"Gabriel, do you not think you normal? he asked me.

"I guess. If you were raised like I was, you'd feel like that. I was raised in a world full of blood and pain. Violence surrounds me. Most people know what safety is, but I don't."

"Correct me if I am wrong, but why are you afraid of kids then."

"I don't know."

"I think you do? What are you afraid of, Gabriel?"

"I said I don't know" I started to slightly raise my voice in annoyance

"You do. Tell me. Yell it at me. You know. It okay."

"I AM AFRAID OF ME", I snapped.

"GOOD, ELEBABORATE GABRIEL," he yelled back at me.

"I AM AFRAID THAT I WILL BRING VIOLENCE IN THEIR LIVES."

"WHY IS THAT, GABRIEL?" He kept yelling at me.

"I ONLY KNOW VIOLENCE. THEY DON'T! I CAN'T HURT THEM,"

"Why do you think you'd hurt them?"

"I am capable of it."

"You know what I think."

"What?!" I look up at him questioningly.

"I think you are kind and gentle. You are different. I don't think you can hurt people, but you get defensive and lose control."

"You're wrong. I am a monster."

"Why do you think you're a monster?"

"I almost killed her"

"Who?"

"ARIA!" I yelled. "I was five years old. It was only a few months before Aria left. I was playing in my father's room. I pretended to be a pirate and told Matteo to walk the plank. What I thought was a toy gun my father carried wasn't fake. I looked for the 'toy gun' in his bedside drawer. I lifted it. I noticed it was real once I fired a real shot that went through the window. Nobody was hurt. Suddenly Aria came crawling in, and I got a fright. I aimed the gun at the door. I was an inch away from killing her."

"It was an accident, Gabriel. You cannot blame yourself."

"No, it was stupid, careless, reckless. I shouldn't get scared and try to kill. I don't kill innocent people. I almost killed a fucking three-year-old."

"Answer this for me; when Aria came into the room, what was running through your head at the moment?"

"I can't remember it was long ago."

"Okay, if a gunshot echoed in this room, then someone barged into this room. What would be your first instinct?"

"To grab my gun."

"Why is that?"

"I need to protect us."

"Protect who?"

"Us"

"Think about what you just said,"

"I said us."

"What does that mean?"

"I want to protect us."

"Who is us?"

"You and me."

"Why do you want to protect me?

"It's the right thing to do."

ALESSANDRO POV

It's been a couple of hours since Gabriel has woken up. We have left them with the doctor. Matteo and Andrea have been in the cinema room since then. Andrea has kept an eye on him. It was especially hard for him. I cannot imagine how he is feeling. His twin held a gun to his head. They might have pointed the gun at me but from the look of their eyes, they didn't want to shoot me. They just wanted to be left alone. I couldn't do that, though. They wanted to cause harm. Their eyes were full of hatred but also they didn't look like they were even them at the moment.

I decided to go down and check on Andrea and Matteo. Just as I suspected there they were sitting snuggled up together. They might be mafia leaders but their still my baby brothers.