Libra's Symphony (Alec Volturi x OC)

Decisions

   When I left the kitchen and re-entered the living room I received what could only be described as a collective dirty look. Both the Cullens and the Denalis were gathered there, only a few members from each clan missing, and they all stared at me accusingly when I arrived. I took the time to wash the dishes, trying to stall my encounter with them and hoping the awkwardness from being overheard would dissipate in the meantime, but it was in vain. The air was thick with their apprehension and their eyes were burning with animosity. I sighed as I felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier.

"I don't want to be a Volturi Guard," I announced dramatically, thinking the whole ordeal rather over-the-top. I wasn't sure if it was their heightened senses or their age but they all seemed to take things much more seriously than I ever could.

"Could've just said that, you know" Emmett shrugged.

"Sorry. I'm really tired, and not just physically. Aro told me a lot of things that I didn't even process yet and now I have your side to add to it."

"It's very understandable." Carlisle smiled serenely. "Take your time, of course. This must be all too much for you."

"Think carefully, though," Tanya added "Eleazar is right. This goes beyond our family. It's bigger than you, Marina, and bigger than us. It concerns all of our kind, everyone under their rule. Please take that into account."

I averted my eyes, a little ashamed. I had been looking at the situation in a very self-centred, selfish way so far and it struck me that I had a tendency for doing that in every given situation in my life. Again and again I had failed to see the bigger picture and brought dire consequences on others involved.

I had to stop doing that.

"I will, I promise."

I miss him so fucking much, though. It hurts.

Was he faking it? I did think he was capable of that, the real question was if he was doing it or not.

"He could be," Edward answered ruefully "don't let that affect your decision, Marina. For everyone's sake, especially yours."

I rubbed my eyes and nodded, feeling my body heavy with exhaustion. When I yawned someone finally took the hint.

"She has to sleep."

I didn't even register who said it, I just thanked them in my head. Kate was by my side in a flash and would have startled me if I wasn't so sleepy. She put her hands on my shoulders and started to direct me out of the room.

"Humans are not really themselves when they are this tired, right?" She mused half jokingly, trying to dissipate the bad mood between her family and me.

"I haven't felt like myself in quite a while," I admitted as I turned my back on the rest of the vampires and let her lead me to a bedroom. "But maybe I just never really knew myself before..."

She smoothed out my hair to comfort me and I felt like a child. It was different than when Alec or Jane, or even Demetri would make me feel like a child, though. Not like she was looking down on me, more like she carried the weight of her age on her shoulders and still tried to relieve me of my own weight.

"Like a caring mother"

I quickly shut that thought down, unwilling to think of my own mother at that moment. I could never see her again, it would be better to think of her and my father as dead as I was dead to them.

Kate pushed me gently all the way to the third floor of the house and opened a door for me, allowing me to step inside before her. One of the walls was made of stone and had a large fireplace built in the middle; the fire was on and crackled pleasantly. All the other walls were made of wood.