I've never felt more sober than I do right now.
In this moment.
You right next to me, but not really here, and me right next to you, but having never been here.
Never been present, never been aware
Of just how much you don't care
But you know
It's kind of funny to think about the past eight months
And how much I've changed but how much you push against it
Like you find some solace in pushing my boundaries
Ignoring my limits
Almost as if you never felt the need to jot them down in your mind
Because all you seem to think about is numbing your mind
With each endless day of graphics
Each second admiring others when you don't see me next to you
With you
From the very beginning
Before I ever even saw an us.
I don't know where to go from here
But I do know that spending my seconds wavering every thought on yours
Is only bringing me heartache.
So here I sit,
Beside you
Wondering when
And if
And how
You'll ever see me the way that I do
If it ever meant that much to you.
YOU ARE READING
random thoughts & scrawls
Randomthis is simply where i post all of my randomly thought of and scrawled out stories/thoughts/ideas/words in general
