Moving on has never been this hard before. Some days are better than others—some days you don't even cross my mind. However, I'll admit, those days don't make up for the ones where I lay in bed and wonder what you're up to. Where I wonder if she kisses better than I did, or how you look at her, or how Azreal is doing with his family back together. On those days, I meet up with old friends and drink until I can't feel the pain anymore, or get so blazed I can't stand. It helps for a little bit, until I'm near blackout and you're all I can think about. I think about your soft hands grazing my skin, or your eyes staring into mine as we lay naked together. I think about the nights you held my hand when we were out, and the days when the June sun was nowhere near as bright as your smile. Those times are long gone now, I know. You're with her, you love her, it's serious, blah blah blah. It's all the same to me. But, I do hope you're happy. You know, now that you have what you waited months for. As much as I hate to admit it to anyone, let alone myself, I do still love you. I think that's why I won't allow myself to branch out anymore. You found me broken, beaten, battered. But god, when I bloomed, I was more beautiful than I ever was before you. You made me feel whole again, my love, and for that I am forever grateful. Even if it only lasted a short time.
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random thoughts & scrawls
De Todothis is simply where i post all of my randomly thought of and scrawled out stories/thoughts/ideas/words in general
