Tolerate It || l.s ✓

Chapter 11

Comment! (please)

"Harry, I brought you breakfast." Gemma smiled, holding the tray out to Harry as his eyes fluttered open.

"Morning." He groaned. "Time is it?"

"It's half 9. Is that alright or do you want me to leave you to sleep a little longer?"

"It's okay." Harry nodded, "thank you." He took the tray from Gemma, smiling as Rosie awoke.

"She loves you H."

"At least someone does, ey Rosie?" Harry chuckled, patting her on the head.

"I do. Zayn does." Gemma frowned.

"Keep going." Harry laughed and Gemma opened her mouth. Harry cut her off before she could say anything, "Gemma, that's literally it. You, Zayn, and Rosie. I live such a life of love."

"Hey, were the only ones who matter. Fuck everyone else." Gemma sat next to him on the bed.

"I don't know, just sometimes I wish that I had at least one person who was closer to me who actually loved me. It gets lonely you know. God, it's too early in the morning for this. How's mum?"

"She's completely and utterly protesting against rehab, so that's not an option. She's just going to stay how she is now unfortunately." Gemma shrugged, a small frown upon her face.

Harry sighed, shaking his head. "When do you think she'll be released from hospital?"

"Either today or tomorrow. I can't imagine they'll keep her there much longer."

Harry took a bite of toast, chewing it slowly with a look of concern. "Think I may go home soon. Got a lot to catch up on for work tomorrow."

"Alright H. I know the circumstances are shit but it was so lovely to see you. Let me know when you're available and I'll pop down and see you."

"That would be nice. Thank you. Gets really fucking lonely sometimes Gem."

"Is there nobody you can talk to at work? Or maybe you should join some sort of book club or yoga club."

"I mean, there's Louis. Louis's lovely, I'm just not too great with new people. Although I've cried at him bloody enough." Harry let out a small, sad laugh, "which is embarrassing really. But he's not made me feel bad about it."

"I like Louis. He sounds nice. Your age?"

"26. I think you'd like him if you met him."

"I'll come to yours and throw a party." Gemma suggested with a smirk and Harry's eyes widened as he almost choked on his breakfast.

"No! Absolutely not. You know my thoughts on parties, especially in my own home. Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm joking Harry, it's a joke!" She laughed delightedly as she received the exact reaction she had expected.

"You're a joke." Harry grumbled, crossing his arms across his chest.

"So mature." Gemma nudged him, "anyway I'll let you get ready. Come on Rosie." She patted her thigh and Rosie jumped off the bed, prancing after her.

//

Harry spent the next few weeks alone, alone and getting gradually worse.

It was his own fault really, he was cutting himself off from everyone who ever spoke to him. He wasn't answering texts from Gemma nor Zayn (except for to tell them that he was okay) , and at work he made sure to steer clear of Louis.

It was getting bad again. Anyone could tell. He was constantly taking days off to stay in bed or he was having to leave classes because he was on the verge of a panic attack.

Louis had tried to talk to him on many occasions but Harry had excused himself quietly, quickly walking away.

Actually seeing his mum and seeing her repulsion towards him had affected him more than he cared to admit. There was a time where her opinion had mattered to him more than anyone else's in the world. Even when he had to start avoiding her, he still held hope that she would return to her normal self. He still asked her for her opinion, even if it would end with him in tears.

After all this time, nothing had changed. He still just wanted his mother to love him, or to at least have some sort of care towards him. He just needed one last hug from her. But she hated him.

Harry was becoming dangerously close to having to have a chat with the headteacher and he felt like he was a student in school again.

All throughout secondary school he got chased by his teachers as he ran out of lessons or skipped them altogether. He didn't want to have to experience their countless interrogations again.

His evenings were spent chain-smoking and cutting himself and Harry wasn't sure how much longer he could last. He could hardly bring himself to eat, and at this point it was becoming a chore to live again.

//

As lunchtime rolled around Harry braved the staffroom. Some sort of club had taken over his classroom and so he had nowhere else to go.

He froze as he noticed a presence next to him. He looked around for an escape but the door was blocked by two teachers having a conversation.

"Harry." Louis spoke.

Harry curled in on himself, not answering.

"Harry?" Louis said again, concern evident in his voice.

This time Harry looked up, meeting Louis's eyes.

"Yeah?" He muttered.

"What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" Harry looked back down, absentmindedly scratching at the back of his hand.

"Everytime I see you you're crying or you look like you're about to. Everytime I try to talk to you you run away. You've had countless days off these past two weeks. I can tell something's up."

"I'm fine. I'm sorry for running away from you, it's not on purpose." He gulped.

"You're not fine."

"Who are you to tell me whether I'm fine or not?" Harry snapped quietly.

"I'm sorry Harry." Louis rested a gentle hand on Harry's shoulder and Harry tensed.

They both looked down as Harry's phone buzzed against the table, lighting up with messages.

Gem: talk to me, PLEASE
Gem: I'm worried about you
Gem: answer the phone!!!!
Gem: Harry, you're no good alone
Gem: H, I'm scared, you've not checked in
           for a while

Harry leaned forward, picking up the phone and typing out a short response.

Harry: alive

Gem: no, Harry, I need to know you're
           okay!
Gem: fucking call me or something

Harry: at work, maybe later

"Right, there's something going on. Come to my house and we'll talk or I'll make you tea or something." Louis spoke decidedly.

"I can't. I have a lesson to teach." Harry said bluntly.

"How did you get here?"

"Walked."

"Okay. At 3 I'll meet you in your classroom and I'm driving you back to mine."

Harry didn't respond, just glaring at him before gathering his stuff and walking off.