Tolerate It || l.s ✓

Chapter 34

double update, comment on both or else

Harry gripped at the bedsheets, holding them up to his chin as he stared straight ahead.

"H, do you want to come down for breakfast?" Louis stepped out of the en suite, a towel wrapped around his waist and water dripping from his hair.

Harry's eyes traced over Louis's body, drinking him in. They started at his lean legs, up over his golden torso where they lingered for a moment, before finally coming to a rest on Louis's face.

He didn't answer Louis verbally, just shook his head as he tore his eyes away, focusing back on the wall.

"Are you sure, babe?" Louis frowned, rummaging through his drawers and pulling out a pair boxers and a pair of joggers. He tugged them on, dropping the towel and making his way back to the bed.

Harry nodded, "not hungry."

Louis sat down next to him, running a hand through Harry's hair before settling it on Harry's head. Harry closed his eyes, pressing his head into the touch.

"How about a shower then?"

"Do I smell?" He asked quietly, curling in on himself self-consciously.

"No, no you don't. I just thought it might be good if you got out of bed." Louis shrugged, rubbing his thumb up and down against Harry's scalp gently.

"Oh." Harry murmured, "maybe. I don't think I have the energy though. Sorry, I think it's all hitting me now. You're right, a shower or a bath would be nice but I can't."

"How about I run you a bath and we'll see how you feel when it's done?"

"Okay."

Louis stood up again, ambling to the bathroom and turning on the tap. He waited for the water to run warm before putting in the plug and returning to the bed.

Harry lay there, and Louis traced his fingers over Harry's neck and scalp, Harry's eyes fluttering closed.

Not long later, Louis removed his hand. "Bath's ready, H."

Harry let out a small groan.

"Not feeling it?"

"I am, I just-" Harry cut himself off, stopping himself from asking a stupid question.

"Go on, love." Louis encouraged.

"I don't want to go by myself." He murmured, "I, when I get like this I can't-"

Louis waited for Harry to continue, watching him carefully.

"Sometimes I'll freeze up and I can't move very well. I-it's scary and I-" Harry's cheeks flushed red as he looked away in shame.

"I'll sit in there with you if that's what you want." Louis offered, and Harry gave a small nod as he avoided eye contact. "There's something else you want." He observed the way Harry's mouth opened and shut.

"Can you wash my hair for me?" The words were barely a whisper, and Louis had to hold his breath in order to hear what Harry was saying.

"Of course I can." Louis nodded. "Of course. Do you feel comfortable being naked or do you want something to wear?"

"Are there bubbles?"

"There are bubbles."

"I'm okay naked." Harry shrugged half-heartedly, "as long as the bubbles will cover me." He couldn't find it in himself to care anymore. Louis had seen Harry in his worst of states, he had seen him at his most emotionally vulnerable, and he had already seen all of his cuts.

"Okay, come on then." Louis held his hand out for Harry and Harry took it, pausing before he climbed out of the bed. He trudged after Louis, still holding his hand as they entered the bathroom.

Louis stepped outside the bathroom as Harry got undressed, going back inside as Harry called out that it was okay.

Harry was sat in the tub, hunched over himself with his arms tucked beneath his knees. Parts of his thighs breached the water surface, and Louis frowned at the small amount of healing cuts which were  lined up in a row, unlike the angry mess of his wrists.

Harry turned around, looking up to Louis through big eyes. Louis smiled softly, crouching down next to Harry. Harry's head dropped down, and a couple of strands of his hair flopped in front of his face. He lifted a hand out of the water to push it back and Louis's heart clenched as he caught sight of his arms again.

"Want me to wash your hair now?" Louis asked.

"Yes, please."

Louis filled a jug up with water, tilting Harry's head back and pouring it over his head. Harry closed his eyes, waiting silently as Louis drizzled shampoo onto his hands before massaging it into Harry's scalp.

Louis placed a hand on Harry's forehead to prevent the soapy water from dripping into his eyes. He rinsed the shampoo from his hair, the suds slipping down Harry's back.

Louis began to hum, and as he did so Harry's posture seemed to become relaxed. He closed his eyes, lips parting as he softly exhaled.

"Thank you for looking after me." Harry whispered.

"Of course. I always will, darling." Louis replied.

"You're good at it."

"Well, I always looked after me sisters so I suppose I know how to from that."

"You sound like a good brother." Harry said.

"I like to think I am. Do you want to do some baking after this?"

"Think I'd rather just watch a film."

"Film and cuddle then?" Louis poured water over Harry's head one more time and Harry gave a small hum of agreement. "Hair's all washed." Louis grabbed a towel, gently ruffling it against Harry's head.

"Thank you." Harry gave a sleepy smile, and it came out so soft that it was almost a purr.