Tolerate It || l.s ✓

Chapter 31

"Thanks for picking me up." Harry muttered, wringing out his hands as Louis started to drive.

"Of course. How are you feeling?" Louis reached forwards and turned the radio down.

"A bit shit." Harry shrugged, "I think it's highly possible that I could throw up or pass out or have a panic attack today."

"You don't have to go back today if you don't feel like you can." Louis said gently.

"I'll feel like this any day. I've just gotta do it."

"Well I'll be in my classroom if you need me at any time. You can text me, yeah?"

"Yeah." Harry nodded, letting out a small puff of air. "Fuck, I'll be lucky if I can hold a pen without dropping it." He wiped his hands on his trousers.

Louis reached across, grabbing Harry's hand and squeezing it reassuringly.

They pulled into the school, and Harry closed his eyes for a minute. "Okay. I can do this."

"I'm proud of you, H." Louis leaned across, bringing Harry into a hug.

Harry nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He pulled away and unplugged his seatbelt, and Louis followed suit.

//

"Um, okay everybody, settle down please." Harry said nervously, glancing around as several people whispered.

"Show us your wrists, freak!" A boy yelled, getting a few laughs and a few harsh whispers.

Harry turned around to face the whiteboard, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sighed. "So, today we're going to be-"

"Cutting ourselves?" Another boy interrupted with a smirk.

Harry gulped, trying to resist the temptation to scratch at his arms.

"Leave him alone you dickhead!" A girl shouted across the room and Harry smiled gratefully, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Um, I think I should probably address this." He chewed the inside of his cheek. "I'm sure you've covered this in assemblies and stuff but, well I don't really know how to say this. Um, well, I've had a lot going on in my life for the majority of it. When I was younger I thought that um, that hurting myself would help."

The class stirred but nobody said anything, just stared at Harry. "I know you know that some of those cuts were fresh and that's because it's not something that I find easy to stop. I just, if anyone is struggling and they need to talk to someone I'm always here." He avoided eye contact with anyone, instead looking at his hands as he played with them. "Um, I'd just appreciate it if we could focus on my lessons instead of my...my um...problems."

A boy put his hand up, and Harry nodded at him.

"Did your girlfriend take the photo?" Harry wasn't quite sure why that was relevant.

"Um, actually I'm gay." He said quietly, "it was an ex boyfriend."

"I told you he was gay!" Someone hissed and Harry flushed, "he's definitely fucking Mr Tomlinson!"

"Jesus Christ." Harry muttered under his breath. "Me and Mr Tomlinson are not a thing. We're just close friends. Um, right I think that's enough talking about me. I'd just appreciate it if we could maybe try and forget about my personal life."

//

Harry dragged his feet, shuffling slowly into Louis's classroom. Louis stood up as he noticed Harry, opening up his arms. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Harry nodded, embracing Louis "I think so. I had to talk to them about my um, my self harm," he looked down, gulping as he said those last two words, "because some boys kept making jokes. But they kinda stopped after that. It's kinda just in the hallways."