Tolerate It || l.s ✓

Chapter 18

double uploadddd

Louis frowned as he trudged into the kitchen, spotting the back garden light on.

He put his empty glass on the side, taking a hoodie off of the peg behind the door and slipping on his sliders. He opened the back door, shivering as the chilly morning air bit him.

"Harry? You out here?" He called quietly, shutting the door behind him.

"Yeah, 'm here." Harry replied from the corner of the garden. He was curled up on the patio, back against where the house met the fence.

"It's 4:30 in the morning." Louis frowned.

"Yeah." Harry shrugged. "Cigarette?" He held out the packet to Louis.

Louis shook his head, sitting down next to Harry. "What are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep." Harry took a drag from the cigarette, lifting his head as he blew the smoke from the side of his mouth. "That doesn't say anything about your host skills though. The bed was very comfortable and you're a great host. In fact, it was the best sleep I've had in a while." He rambled on.

Louis let out a breathy laugh, "don't worry about making me feel good about my hosting skills. Do you wanna talk about anything?"

"I'm okay...I just don't, I don't know." Harry shrugged, looking away. "I had a panic attack and I needed fresh air." His gaze drifted to the cigarette that rested between his fingers and he huffed, "or smoky air."

"Oh, hun." Louis frowned. "Can I do anything for you?"

Harry didn't answer, just stumping out the cigarette. He dropped his head to his knees, covering his face with his arms. "I'm really sorry Louis."

"What for?" Louis angled himself to look at Harry.

"You shouldn't have to deal with this. You can go back to bed."

"What do you mean?"

"It's like, I've kind of just crashed your life with all of my bullshit. It's stupid. You don't have to put up with me, you know. You're allowed to just leave."

"I'm not going to just leave. You've got a lot going on and I want to be here to help you, okay?"

"I just feel shit and I don't want to bring everyone else down with me. It's not fair. No, I don't know, let's talk about something else." Harry shook his head. "Are you sure you don't want a cigarette?" He reached for another.

"I'm sure. How many have you had?"

"I'm not sure, a few."

"Harry, I don't want to sound like a controlling arse but I think maybe you should give them a break."

"No, no. You're probably right." Harry put the cigarette back in the box, "can you confiscate them please?" He held the box out.

Louis took the box, nodding as he stuffed them in his hoodie pocket. "Do you want to come inside and I'll make you a cup of tea?"

"Okay." Harry murmured.

"Do you think you'll get back to sleep?" Louis asked as he stood up, brushing off joggers.

Harry huffed out a laugh, "nope."

"Wanna go for a walk?"

A small smile spread across Harry's face. "Yes please."

"Still want the tea?"

"I'm okay, thank you though."

//

"Hey, look!" Louis whispered, putting a hand out to stop Harry as he pointed to a tree.

Harry squinted in the darkness, trying to ignore Louis's hand sprawled right where the butterfly tattoo decorated his skin.

"What?" Harry whispered back.

"Squirrel."

"I can't see it." Harry pouted.

Louis removed his hand. He shuffled closer so that their arms were pressed together. He pointed again, "see?"

Harry let out a small gasp, "I see it!"

Louis laughed quietly. "Cute, right?"

"Adorable."

"Wanna sit down over there?" Louis pointed behind them. We'll be able to watch the sun rise."

"That would be nice." Harry nodded. "Bye squirrel." He gave a small wave before following after Louis.

The pair sat down and Harry drew his knees up to his chest. "Thank you Louis. This is really lovely. I'm sorry for making you go out so early."

"You didn't make me. I suggested this." Louis said, "and I really don't mind. It's nice being out so early, it's peaceful."

"I like being out in the mornings and at night." Harry agreed, "I feel I can be myself."

"Yeah, you could probably just walk around naked and nobody would see you." Louis shrugged and Harry laughed quietly.

"Probably, but you could also probably get done for public indecency." He giggled.

Harry lay back, looking up at the sky. "Can I steal your cats?"

"Absolutely not." Louis shook his head with a smile.

"Please." Harry pouted, turning to look at him. "At least one?"

"No way. They're my little fur babies. We can have shared custody, but they live with me."

"So can I visit them whenever?"

"Of course you can."

"Thank you, my old therapist said a pet would be good for me." He said. "I think that's one of the only things he said that might have actually been of any help. My sister's dog is better than any therapist I've ever had."

"Have you had many therapists?"

"4. They were all useless though. I never got any better." Harry shrugged, "oh, it was never a big deal though." He added, "my sister and Zayn just thought that everything in my life affected me more than it did so they forced me to." He shrugged, blatantly lying about the extent to which things had affected him.

"Well, Oscar, Penelope and I can be your therapists whenever you need."

"I'm so glad I met you."

"And I'm glad I met you." Louis grinned back.