Tolerate It || l.s ✓

Chapter 14

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Harry groaned as the morning rays seeped in through the gap in the curtains.

He tried to move but was pulled in by two strong arms.

"Morning." Jake spoke, pressing a kiss to Harry's shoulder.

"Morning." Harry replied, trying to sit up, but yet again being pulled back down. "Jake, I've got to get up. I've got work."

"Skip it babe." Jake muttered, "for me."

"I can't, I'm sorry." Harry rolled over, puckering his lips.

Jake kissed him and Harry snaked his arms around him.

"Work." Harry murmured.

"Do you care more about work than about me baby?"

"No, of course not." Harry frowned, "but I can't just skip it."

"Alright, fine. Go to your precious work." Jake sat up and Harry suddenly felt cold. He wrapped his arms around his naked torso, face contorting with confusion.

"I'm sorry Jake." Harry said feebly.

"Whatever." Jake pulled on his clothes and left without saying goodbye.

No. This wasn't how this was meant to be. They hadn't been together long but they'd been moving incredibly fast and Harry felt as though someone actually cared about him. But this wasn't what was meant to happen. He suddenly felt reminded of his mother- guilt tripping him into neglecting himself and following the demands of others.

He sat there on the bed staring longingly at the empty doorway. His stomach turned and his arms began to itch.

Harry ended up having a long shower. He stood under the scolding water, clenching his jaw and squeezing his eyes shut tightly as he allowed his wrists to burn.

He finally turned the shower off, pulling his clothes on and making his way to work. He could not be late again or he would definitely have to talk with the headteacher.

//

"Hey." Louis smiled as Harry walked into the staffroom.

"Hey." Harry replied quietly.

Louis frowned at his demeanor. "You good?"

"Yeah." Harry nodded, avoiding eye contact.

"Nope. You're not. What's wrong?" Louis frowned.

Harry shook his head. Louis motioned for him to follow. Harry shook his head again.

"My classroom is empty. Come on, I want to talk to you."

Harry sighed, following after Louis. "What?" He murmured, leaning against the table as Louis shut the door behind them.

Louis simply opened his arms. Harry bit his bottom lip, furrowing his brow. "Do you want a hug?" Louis asked.

Harry dug his teeth further into his lip, nodding.

"Come on then love." Louis spoke sympathetically and Harry accepted, tucking his head into crook of Louis's neck. He rubbed a hand up and down Harry's back as he began to feel tears against the skin of his neck.

"This is so stupid." Harry whimpered.

"Talk to me."

"Jake's mad at me." He said, "he's mad at me but I haven't done anything wrong. He's acting like my mum. I'm sorry, I know I sound stupid."

"No, no. You don't sound stupid. What's he upset about?"

"Because I fucking said I couldn't skip work to hang out with him. I mean, that's not me being a dick, is it? I've not known him long and I know it's going fast but I can't just start putting everyone before myself again. I need to try and fucking look after myself because... because Gemma's worried about me and I can't hurt her and oh my fucking god what the hell is wrong with me?!" Harry ranted, pulling away from Louis and pacing back and forth as he tangled his hands in his hair.

"No. Stop it Harry." Louis spoke firmly, "sit down or come here or something, you're stressing yourself out even more." Harry looked up like a startled rabbit, seating himself, "you're not in the wrong, you're entitled to look after yourself. If he's already making you feel bad for choosing work over him I hate to say it but I personally don't think he's worth it."

"But he actually cares about me. This is just a stupid little thing but it just hurts."

Louis sat down next to Harry, putting his arm around him and gently rubbing Harry's back. "I can't tell you what to do so all I'm going to say is just watch out, yeah? If he keeps doing shit like that don't put up with it."

"I won't." Harry shook his head, "I won't. I'm sorry, I don't get why this got to me so much."

"Hey, it's bound to. It's normal to get upset about boyfriends being twats." He said.

Harry inhaled, "I think it's just that it reminded me of my mum. I mean I'm trying to get away from that."

"Can I ask you something?" Louis turned to look at him.

Harry nodded.

"What's the deal with you and your mum?" He asked softly.

Harry shook his head. "Not now. I can't talk about that now. Maybe another time, but not now."

"Okay. Okay, there's no rush. You don't have to tell me at all if you don't feel comfortable with it."

The bell rung and Harry sighed. "Back to work I suppose."

"Come see me if you need anything hun." Louis told him and Harry gave him a small smile.

"I really appreciate that, and I appreciate you caring. Thank you."

//

Harry knocked on the door of Jake's apartment, tugging at his jumper lightly. After a minute or two, the door opened and Jake stood there, face void of expression.

"Hey." Harry spoke quietly. "Can I come in?"

"Don't you have somewhere to be? I'm sure work is calling your name." Jake spoke bitterly, rolling his eyes at Harry.

Harry tentatively stepped inside and Jake shut the door behind them.

"Jake," Harry started, "I care about you. I do. It's just, we've not been together long and I can't start neglecting other aspects of my life. I've been in situations before where I've had no balance in my life and it's had a negative impact on everyone."

Jake sighed, gesturing for Harry to sit down. "I know baby, I know. You're right. I overreacted."

"So, we're alright?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Yes, we're alright." Jake opened his arms and Harry hugged him, "come to bed with me?" He asked as he kissed along Harry's cheekbone and began to sloppily kiss his ear and down his neck.

"I don't know Jake, I-" Harry started but Jake cut him off.

"Please baby. You care about me, right?"

"Of course I do." Harry nodded, "okay." He found himself agreeing.

Jake pushed him towards his bedroom, sucking on Harry's neck. Harry closed his eyes and tried to relax.